How can I stop the lying

[alloutofanswers]

I am a single mother with ADD. I have a son that will be 9 in a few days.  He was diagnosed with ADD when he was 6.  His father was the primary care giver with me spending and wanting to spend as much time with him as his father would allow.  Anyway, his father passed away about a year ago, and  things were going really good for the first few months.  He started the 3rd grade in the fall, and his teacher had some concerns that he was falling behind, so the doctor raised his medication.  Everything was great and he was doing well in school until Jaunuary when he began lying and sneaking like his father said that he used to do.  I have very clearly explained that lying will not be tolerated, and that telling the truth is rewarded in our home.  I try to give him the benefit of the doubt, but when I give him an inch, he takes 10 miles.  He tells lie after lie.  Sneaks toys to school, and has even gone as far as telling his school counselor after getting in trouble at school, that I hurt him and he is scared to come home.  I am very strick, and try to keep a tight schedule at home, as I have read that scheduling is good for a child with ADD.  He is not only lying to me, but lying to his grandfather (his dad's father) which spoils him, and would never discipline him.  Some of his lies are petty, but they are leading to more extravigant lies and sneaks...  I'm very concerned that all of this may lead to stealing and other various problems.  I do have him scheduled to start seeing a psychologist, but I feel that I am failing as a mother, and don't know how much more I can handle.  I've tried taking things away, spanking, yelling, lecturing, ignoring, rewarding for good behavior, giving him more space (he just got his own room away from his brother  (7years old).  But found that he was sneaking his game boy, and stealing a game boy from his grandfathers house.  Please, if anyone can give me some advise and or ideas, please help.  Also, if you can give me ideas and how to keep my cool so he doesn't feel threatened by me...  
Thank You
AllOutOfAnswers

[musicmama]

I understand how you feel.  My son has done very similar things.  He may be lying to get the attention he wants.  When our son tells petty lies, we ignore it.  He has recently gone to a neuropsychologist who does neurofeedback therapy.  This has been very effective.  

As far as discipline is concerned, the more emotion you show or the more force you use, the more rebellious he will become. (at least my son does.)  I read "No Backtalk" which teaches logical consequences.  He has suffered many losses and has had to readjust many times.  Please have patience.  There is always an answer.

Do you have a support system?  Are his grandparents helpful?  
Send me a message to let me know how things go.  I'm rooting for you.
Good luck and God Bless.