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Anxiety Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to generalized anxiety, anxiety and eating, anxiety and sleeping, mood swings, and phobias.
I really think you need to. You have a new baby coming...and a family that needs you to be the best you can be, right? You do NOT have to live like this...with this severe anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
I sincerely hope you will seek help, and SOON. I don't know if you're frightened, and that's why you haven't done it yet...but there is only so much we can help you work through. You need to be under the care of a professional.
What does your husband think and say about your thoughts/behaviors? Are you confiding in him at how bad it has been for you....at least about the non-HIV issues? I hope so...because you do not have to suffer in silence.
Best wishes to you...keep us informed, okay? Hang in there.
I know there is a small fee involved ($15, I believe?)...so keep that in mind.
Just a thought.
Just wanted to mention that...because what you brought up is a common misconception about OCD.
Also, SC...I wanted to mention to you...that it doesn't matter in the end WHAT the diagnosis is...what matters is these phobias and thoughts are completely consuming you and affecting your life in a big way...and with all the treatments available, it simply doesn't have to be that way.
PLEASE be patient when you are looking for a therapist...it can be hard. But, once you find someone you truly "mesh" with....you will be well on the road to wellness. YOU deserve that, and do not have to suffer like you are.
Give it a fair chance, okay? And stick with it! These behaviors and ways of thinking do not appear overnight....so they certainly do not get "fixed" overnight either. You're in it for the long haul...and I think you will be amazed at how your life will change.
Keep us updated when you go to the therapist, ok? Let us know how it goes.....best of luck to you.
Actually, in the case of most Christians, the Lord himself taught us how to pray: I refer to the "Lord's Prayer." Jesus was asked, literally, "OK, so how DO we pray?" and he came up with the "Our Father," the prayer universally shared throughout Christendom.
But the prayer, of course, was not offered as a way to ward off "something bad," but rather as the most compact and simple expression of faith beyond the 2 great commandments and the one whose tradition would be rooted in the fellowship of believers in Christ -as opposed to the 1000's of years of Jewish faith, law and tradition. I'm not setting up a tent and arranging folding chairs here, I'm simply saying that if what you really, really, wanted was the right way to pray -and assuming you are of Christian faith and heritage, then there's nothing like getting your info from the one whom Christians believe is God -Christ, Himself.
I say all this to let you know that I "get it," about the serious business of faith and a connection with the Almighty. Its a big deal -the biggest deal for many. In your case, though, you are edgy about saying the wrong thing to someone who could really make you pay, and that suggests to me that if you go back far enough, you'll find some early experiences that gave you such a concern. Is it OCD? I dunno, call it NFL if you like, but whatever you call it, it is something which you worry about a lot. And thus, anything uttered repeatedly and according to a specific formula is more in the nature of magic than prayer. And I would counsel you, therefore, to get in front of a psychiatrist or other counselor who can help you discover why you are focused on this -and what to do about it.
Please keep us in the loop on your thoughts and progress. So far, the worst that has happened is that you've run into a group of people here who care about you and want to help. Sounds like the answer to a prayer, to me. What do YOU think?
If you ask 'em real pretty, Medhelp will change your nicname for you -or run it by cj29 or greenlydia.
I like JS's suggestion...but you can pick anything...something that tells who you are...and a "stupic cow" (there, I typed it, ick)..is NOT it.
;0)
I happen to be a Christian and as you know, Christianity and Islam together are the largest population of religious people in the Western Hemisphere and I have no "problem" with ANY religion. Near as I can tell, there are more similarities than differences among the major faiths and each has something to offer the other. I don't think of myself as being religious any more than a fish thinks about swimming -for me, it is simply my "element," the way I move around in the world.
You are right -you do your "best," and that's all you can do. I personally doubt that the Almighty gives us "tests," of any kind; rather, we exist in a world which is largely of our OWN creation and therefore carries with it many challenges, issues and problems we would NOT have if we had behaved ourselves better from the beginning. Rather, the challenges we face are more in the nature of ways for us to learn more about ourselves and how the world works, and ways for us to learn more about creation and our Creator. To the extent we understand any of it, we become better people. In any case, the fact that you are of Muslim faith doesn't change what I was saying about prayer. Just as orthodox Muslims have 5 Salaat times each day, so do devout orthodox religious Christians observe at least six prayer times (Lauds, Terce, Sext, None, Vespers and Compline). Each faith includes various manners of expression and movements. And BOTH religions tell you that what is important is WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART. Paul of Tarsus tried to explain this by pointing out the difference between "faith" and "works." His point was that faith will lead to good works, but that doing good works alone was no evidence of faith nor any assurance of a place in heaven. I'm not sure what the Islamic equivalent to this is, but you probably can point to some Holy Writ which basically says that your actions will be guided by what is in your heart, and that mere performance of ritual -by itself- means NOTHING.
I'm not trying to preach to anyone here, but let me point to something in non-religious human behavior that basically sends the same message. A man and his wife were close friends of mine. The wife left the man and filed for a divorce. When he asked her why, she told him that she was tired of his bad behavior. He had promised to stop smoking, stop getting drunk, stop embarrassing her in public and a number of other things that indicated to her that he wasn't showing her respect. The man then stopped smoking, cut down his drinking, was more respectful in public and he made other changes to please her. But she did not take him back. When he asked why not, she said that he was merely producing behavior to make her change her mind -his HEART had not changed. He went through all the motions, jumped through all the hoops -but that was NOT enough. He was really trying to manipulate her. It is the same with our religious devotion: if it is from the heart, pure and clean -then it is pleasing to God. And that is why we HAVE ritual -to help us pay attention to what is in our hearts.
It sounds to me like your heart IS in the right place; so feel God's love of you for this and, together with whatever burdens your soul may bear, accept the empowerment our Lord also gives us -and live your life fully and well in His servive, in which there is perfect freedom.
Here endeth the lesson.