sexual play what is normal

[lb01]

My son is 4 and I saw a older boy (7) asking him to sit on his lap. While my son was on this boys lap this boy started rubbing himself and then asked my son to kiss him. I stopped it at that point but this happened last year as well and that time I caught this same boy with his pants down asking my son to lick his penis. He said go ahead it taste like candy. His mother says she talked to his doctor and said this is normal play. It's not normal to me. My son is no longer around this boy but I worry about other children in the neiborhood. Is this normal and should I warn other parents about this. Thank you

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Because the behavior is unusual, it would be prudent to arrange an evaluation with a pediatric mental health clinician. That person can consider the behavior is its broader context and can also guide you re: management, though it sounds like you are doing fine.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

No, the behavior is not normal at all. It is important that the boy's parents be made aware of what has occurred, even if it means trying again to communicate with her. Such a matter in a neighborhood can be very sensitive, but it is important that parents be aware of what might occur. If anything like what happended with your son has occurred with others, perhaps a couple of you can approach the boy's parents together (strength in numbers).

[cm8377]

My son is 7 years old and has asked his female cousin, who is also 7, to sit on him.  We told him the first time this was inappropriate and then the second time we had a full talk about feelings and development and appropriate behavior. We are concerned about where he learned such behavior and he says it just pops into his head and thinks it will feel good.  Should we be doing something else for him such as professional therapy or just keep a close eye on him and reminding and guiding him through his feelings?  He seems to really feel bad about asking her to sit on him.

[cm8377]

I forgot to mention this in my earlier post.  My son also complains about his penis sticking in the down position to his testicals.  He is constantly grabbing at it and shifting it.  We have tried using powder there, but it doesn't help.  I thought he might be doing it  because it feels good, but he swears it's because it is sticking.  Have you heard of this problem before and what do you suggest?  Thank you.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

For the purpose of ruling out any physical problem, his peditarician should examine him. Beyond that, set sensible limits re: touching his genital area while in public. Otherwise I would not draw attention to the behavior.