Telling everyone 'I love you'

[TheRover]

So, I've been on Paxil for about two months. Not sure if this is related, but I finally started to have a beer or two every three or four days. Nothing excessive, always in moderation.

I've noticed that I have a harder time falling asleep now than I did when I first started taking Paxil. Also, I've been on this kick where I tell everyone I love them. Even people I just met after a day or two. What gives? Is it the alcohol or something else? Ever experience this?

[barfer]

This one I just had to comment on...I am not a drinker but I was on paxil at one time and one of the things I definitely noticed about it was that I became this really nice person.  I mean ridiculously nice to the point that anyone and everyone could walk all over me if they wanted to.  I mean, I'm not a horrible person but I'm not THAT nice either.  I eventually stopped taking paxil and went on another medication and I got my usual personality back. I'm not saying to you that it is the medication or that you should go off of it, I'm just relaying my own story.

[Pum]

The first time I went on Paxil I did a few things that were out of character. Once I told my life's story, including personal stuff, to a work collegue and the other thing was I kept organising social things like parties etc. It settled down. I wonder whether it was like a mini-manic phase after the depression phase. I felt very open and friendly all the time.

Make sure you take it in the morning to have the least affect on your sleeping.

Good luck.

[JSGeare]

Doncha just HATE it when you feel open and friendly all the time?! It is hard work, but I've learned to overcome it, to an extent. First thing every morning, I leave a HUGE mess in the kitchen for Heather to clean up, then I kick the cat out the front door, and pour my first martini of the day. Who SEZ they're not just for breakfast anymore? I make mine "dirty," kerosene instead of vermouth. Next I go outside and rattle trash cans around to wake up the neighbor. When he pulls out of his drive way and gives a friendly wave I yell at him: "You are fat, ugly and stupid! Have a nice day, creep!"

Then I go down to the pond where those stupid koi are swimming around like they own the place. Idiots. I toss in some rat poison, but for some reason it doesn't seem to bother them too much. Matter of fact, a few have grown to over 3 feet and have teeth and can walk on land for awhile. Then I walk down to the mailboxes and switch everyone's mail around and pull out anything that looks like it might have money inside. On the way back I throw stones at the neighbor's children who are waiting for the school bus. It's tough for me when school's out, because the little nose-pickers aren't there to torment.

Returning to the house, I knock over the yard art along the way and set out my pink plastic flamingos, reset the automatic machine gun nests and landmines, then pour another martini -easy on the kerosene this time.

There! All ready for my day!

[TheRover]

JS I think you're missing the point and I appreciate the comments from Pum and Barfer. It's just not normal for a guy in the corporate world to tell a co-worker he's known for a few months that he loves them. And I've been doing the social planning thing too! I've wanted people to come visit and I get mildly hurt when they don't.

This drug is f'n crazy. I like the effect for the most part. But somethings are so 'out of character' for me that it's strange. And I had my 2nd nightmare last night. That's another pleasant side effect.

[JSGeare]

I DO get it, and as a matter of fact what I am really getting at here is the somewhat incredible study in contrasts that comes of that slight alteration in brain juice. "Slight," that is, in the same way that stone in your shoe is "slight." The princess and the pea. HUGE impact. Whether a med causes us to lean more to the open and loving side or more to the withdrawn and paranoid side -either side is just NOT the way we are accustomed to BEING.

Which is not to say that they way we "normally" are is how we wish we COULD be. I would be delighted to live in a world where feelings of affection or affiliation can be freely expressed; but in the world we DO live in a set of social norms and expectations applies -it is the deviation from the familiar and accepted forms of personal engagement that feels "strange," especially when we find OURSELVES doing it.

So let me ask -at the time you did tell your co-worker you "loved" him or her -was the feeling -at the time- genuine to you? I'm not trying to tease you with this; I'm trying to discern whether the issue was that you said something you did not really feel -or did you in fact have a strong sense of affection, but at the same time a sort of violation of your own boundaries about what is appropriate to express -even if it IS true? Your impressions?

[barfer]

You mentioned that you had nightmares....Oh boy, can I relate!  I had to take ativan at night when I was on Paxil so that I could get to sleep and not have the vivid dreams.  So during the day, I was this sweet angelic person that no one could recognize including me and at night I was terrified by the dreams unless I took ativan.  I eventually stopped the paxil and went on to another medication.  I was on it for about six months, so I gave it a good try, but it just wasn't the meds for me.  Some people even if they have the vivid dreams initially, continue on it and the dreams went away.   That was not the case for me, hence, I tried another medication.  Let me know what you decide to do about this, I'm very interested.

[barfer]

That does it, I am definitely not going to go to your place now!  LOL  

[TheRover]

I think the problem is with telling people I love them is that it feels like a 'genuine impulse' if that makes sense but it seems contrived to them. Usually catches people off guard. So I think my 'emotional' what guys would call 'girlie' feelings are enhanced and I think I've extended my boundaries past where I'd like them to be - in some areas. I don't have the impulse to talk all the time and people genuinely like being around me more, even with my seemingly strange outbursts of emotion. Give and take I guess.

I've only had two nightmares, but both were terrifying. Last night I half woke up and realized I'd had a dream so to keep that image from coming back, I visualized myself as I kicked the **** (in my dream) of the thing that was scaring me. I'm afraid to change meds, kind of like 'the devil you know . . .'

I appreciate all the feedback and I'm encouraged to see that educated people (I consider myself educated as well) experience this issues. When I first was diagnosed, I kind of felt stupid.