Help!

[Jazzygirl_96]

Hi.  About 2 months ago, I had serious depression and Im only turning 12, since I was 9. I told my parents and they said I make myself sad and this is all my fault. I get really sad when I see how my friends parents are, and my parents arent even close to it. My mom gossips about me, and my dad doesnt talk to me unless he's cursing at me or mad. Ive told my gma too, and she helped me. I wasnt sad for a while, but then It got worse afterwards. I am not as sad anymore, but now i want to commit suicide 10x more. Im not even supposed to be on this web, but I need help!
Im only sad at home, not school and I need help. How do I get rid of this? How do I fix the parent prob. Its not physical child abuse, but mental. Everyone thinks my parents are the best parents ever: my friends, family, and parents' friends, but they act it out in public and then become the worst at home. If i told an adult, they'd think I was lying. Theres no proof, expcept for inside my head. They dont physically hurt me, but worser: In my mind and heart. I dont think they are doing this on purpose, but my dad didnt really have a dad as growing up, and my mom's mom even admitted to being a bad parent, but she got better. I think they think they're good parents deep inside, but dont know how to express it or how to be one bcuz of their parents. Help!

[Hensley258]

We can choose our friends, but unfortunatly we can't choose our parents.

You mentioned that your only feeling depressed when your around your parents?
I'm sure this is very difficult for you to deal with, but on the other hand I don't think you should peg yourself as suffering from a serious clinical depression.

If you were suffering from a clinical depression, then you would (without a doubt) feel horrible all the time, even away from your parents.

I'm not saying that childhood depression doesn't exist, because I think it does. It's just that childhood depression almost never renders a child non-functional as it often does with adults.

I think before giving yourself a diagnosis, it would be wise to seek the help of a professional for a more accurate diagnosis.

[el_dave]

And remember, time goes by, we turn eighteen, and we get away from parents. It's not forever, even though it sometimes seems like it. Don't even think about the suicide thing until you've given yourself a chance to make your own world. Your time is coming, you just need to get through a few more years. You can do it.

[alicia330]

HI , I ALSO HAVE ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION PROBLEMS. I ALSO HAD PROBLEMS WITH MY PARENTS. IM 26 AND MET MY DAD AT THE AGE OF17 FOR THE FIRST TIME. MY MOM AND I WERE NEVER CLOSE EITHER.WE NEVER HAD MUCH. BUT EVERYONE THOUGHT MY MOM WAS SO COOL.I FEEL AS IF SHE WAS NEVER THERE FOR ME.AT THE AGE OF 22 I HAD MY FIRST ANXIETY ATTACK. IT WAS THE WORST THING EVER. ITS HARD TO TALK TO PEOPLE WHO DONT UNDERSTAND HOW YOUR FEELING. I HAD TOLD MY COUSIN ABOUT MY ANXIETY ATTACK. HOW MY HEART WAS RACING,HOW I WAS SO SCARED AND DIDNT KNOW WHY. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE. I WOULD JUST SHAKE AND CRY. THEN I BECAME DEPRESSED, I WANTED THIS TO STOP. SO LAUGHED AND SAID THATS CRAZY. JUST RECENTLY SHE HAD A BABY AND STARTED HAVING ATTACKS. SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULDNT WISH THEM ON HER WORST ENEMY. ITS HARD FEELING WORTHLESS AND SCARED ALL THE TIME.I BELIEVE IN GOD. I DONT KNOW IF YOU DO. I ALSO HAVE 3 HANDSOME NEPHEWS. AND THATS WHAT KEEPS ME LIVING. I TELL MYSELF I NEED TO BE HERE TO PROTECT THEM. MY GRANDMA ALWAYS TAUGHT ME TO TRUST IN GOD. EVEN THOUGH YOU THINK GOD WOULDNT WANT YOU TO SUFFER. THESE ARE JUST TRIALS ASD TRIBULATIONS WE ARE GOING THROUGH. I TALK TO GOD WHEN IM DOWN AND ALWAYS FEEL BETTER. I THANK GOD EVERY DAY HE HAS GIVEN ME . JUST THINK POSITIVE. SOON BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU'LL VE OUT OF YOUR PARENTS HOUSE ON YOUR OWN. YOU JUST LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES AND LIVE A BETTER LIFE. FOR THE MEAN TIME ASK YOUR GRAM TO TAKE YOU FOR HELP. GRAMS ARE THE BEST. REMEMBER YOU HAVE HER TO LIVE FOR. HOW WOULD SHE FEEL IF YOU WERE GONE.SORRY TO TALK YOUR EAR OFF. HOPE I HELPED. WRITE BACK IF YOU NEED TO:)

[lonewolf07]

For someone so young, you write extremely well.  Are you the same Jazzygirl who helped me when I first came here and was suicidal?

I know I say this all the time but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

You can't "fix" your parents.  Do you have access to a therapist - a teacher, counsellor,  etc. you can talk to - someone just for you?

Since I don't know your parents, I can't comment about them.  But I can tell you this:  abuse is a term that is frequently misused.  You mentioned that you didn't think your parents were deliberately trying to hurt you.  My youngest daughter cut me out of her life over six years ago and the pain of that loss is agonizing.  At the same time, I couldn't talk to my parents either when I was your age.  That's why I really hope that you can find someone you feel safe talking to about your suicidal feelings.

Hugs ....

lonewolf

[grethel31guevarra]

hi, try to talk to a counsellor, or a teacher. maybe it can help you. you are too young to waste your life. i also have a daughter. she's 11. and i know how you feel, but i make sure that we had this communication. try to talk to your mom and dad. God will always be there to listen for your prayers.

[pattypuss]

I see you are growing up in the same house that i and many other children grew up in. You can get threw it. You have to really think, and not just about yourself on this one. Give me a moment. Always look at 2 sides.THIS IS ALL THEY KNOW, BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT THEY WERE TAUGHT. First Parents.When they were children.that means mine, so you don't get in trouble. Dad was being cursed at all his life from his father, and said he was never any good. Mom was great. She always was the best outside, always saying how all the others sisters and brothers were the best and i never did anything right, and to this day to my face she still points it out to me in front of family and all other people. You will learn to cope with it. As for love with the parents, there was no sign, so we did not get any either. But you have to remember, you are a different person, and you are there only so long. Make everyday a countdown.  Say to yourself, I am going to talk to my mom, want to do something special, or can i help, say dad please don't curse me, it hurts my feelings, i don't curse you. I love you. Try one day. You are a special person, made different i can tell. You have a very big heart, don't throw it away.You are like me. When you grow up and have your own children, you will remember, that your child life, was no fun, and that those things will not happen to your children, and you will have the best family going. Make your nightmare back to a home , sweety. I am 45 and still go through it, and i don't live there either.