Daughter says stepfather rubbed her legs

[mommifree]

I have been married for 4 years and my husband is younger than me. I have a 4 year old son with my husband and a 12 year old daughter from a previous marriage. My Husband uses powder cocaine sometimes and he is also usind steroids. He turns into a comletely different person and his sex drive is very high.  My daughter told me that he came in her room while she was sleep and kneeled beside her bed and rubbed her legs. Is it possible that he did not realize what he was doing while on cocaine. I sometimes feel like he might suffer from some sort of psycosis or psychotic disorder when under the influence of cocaine. Because he acts like i am mistreating him because I put his *** out that house. He acts like he does not know what i am talking about like it never happened. I love my husband but i must protect my children. what do i do????????>

[marissposa]

It doesn't matter if he doesn't realize what he is doing, you're daughter is not safe around him and it is your job to protect her at all costs.  It is bad enough that your children have been exposed to a someone on hard drugs, but also to someone who behaves physchoticly and is now sexually abusing your child.  Do the right thing for you and your kids and kick him out of the house tonight.  He is not the one being mistreated.  Don't worry about him and his fits.  Your children need you to worry about them now.  If he gets too psychotic go to a shelter or call the police.  Let your daughter know how much you love her and how glad you are that she trusted you enough to tell you, then back it up by protecting her.  Whatever you do don't betray her trust and let this happen to her again.  I tried to tell when I was young and no one wanted to hear it.  I grew up feeling constantly in danger and can't trust anyone now.  Also I  tried coke a few times in my darker days and never has it confused me to the point where I would have done something like that and not realized it,  I think it sounds like he uses drugs as an excuse for his bad behavior.  Don't buy what he's saying.  Get yourselves free of him.

[AlfTheAli3n]

I've been under the influence.  It's not a case of not knowing what you are doing, because you do know what you are doing, but you just don't care about the consequences, or you think you can handle them.  Thankfully I'd never even come close to stooping as low as your Husband.

[mslkpage]

Andy said it very well- drugs don't cause someone to do something that they don't want to do. They just impair the user's judgment. If you stay with this man, he will abuse your daughter whether he's using drugs or not. I think you should file for divorce and report his behavior to child protective services. Although he didn't commit a crime by rubbing her legs, he's certainly capable of taking it to that level with her or another child.

[AlfTheAli3n]

Maybe he did commit a crime such as indecent assault, but I do agree, report him [after discreetly obtaining further facts from your daughter, i.e double checking so to present a case].

[mommifree]

I said this about the cocaine usage so(casually) because I was trying to say what he was doing. NO I do not do drugs I am a stay at home work at home mom and I am very capable of taking care of and protecting my children. You see he is gone.

[AlfTheAli3n]

Just ignore the 'trolls' or better still, report them.  :)

[mslkpage]

"Powder cocaine" is a common term. It just differentiates "regular" cocaine from crack.

[RockRose]

mommifree - I think he should be out of the house for cocaine use and steroid use and "he turns into a completely different person".  

I really don't think you would be able to prove in court that he massaged your daughter's legs - and I don't know whether that matters at this point.  He should be gone,  he's a menace.

[treazzure007]

I came off harsh in my initial response b/c I thought for sure this was a fake post.  The answer was just so clear to me that besides worrying about what someone on drugs might do, it's the fact that they are a drug user at all that's bad!  That's what I meant.  The drug usage was his first offense and youve done the right thing to keep something and someone like that from your family and home.  Take care

[AnnaE]

I know all of this must have hurt badly. I am sorry for your pain. Your daughter may need counseling. I wish you the best.

[jml1986]

I will just say that you need to do what is best for you and your children. If you have a bad feeling, follow your gut.

[ticked]

I would get out of there before he does something more to your daughter and its too late.