FEELING REALLY WORTHLESS TODAY!!

[ladyboop]

Hi Everyone,
     I hate to make this post, but I am just in a funk and feeling pretty worthless today. I hope it has something to do with the full moon and passes soon. I have noticed that everyone is stuggling this weekend with different feeling, like craving and such. I have been on the pity- pot I guess. I feel like I have really drove my life off in the ditch, So bad that no matter what I do, I can not seem to get back on the road. I am not suicidal, All though I feel that my behavior with this addiction has been destructive at best. I can not seem to make things better. I know I need to do certain things to live. I just can't seem to get them done. I am overwhelmed today. overloaded with life, and this addiction. God give me the strenght I need.. The only time I feel good is the first 20 mintues or so after taking a bunch of perc's.. Maybe an hour if I am luck. Thank you for letting me vent... and get this off my chest. I do not know what eles to do...

                       Lady

[SableZen]

Have you tried going to a counselor? I'm not suggesting even going to a psychologist or psychiatrist really... but there are a lot of counselors (a lot are even very inexpensive and/or faith-based if it appeals to you) that are really good with helping with practical ideas/ways to get to where you want to be. Kind of gives you an objective view-point on things. More like 'life-coaches' than anything... just throwing that out there.

[marcatj]

hi...

you know the painkillers increase depression & hopelessness tremendously, right?

i was immobilized when in my addiction.  i couldn't seem to get motivated to do one thing..

i don't know your story, but the first step is to get clean.  no matter what you do, as long as you are using you will feel BAD.  at least that's sure how i felt.

once i took the small steps (which then became bigger steps..) to get and stay clean, the depression lifted.

it just did.

so again, if you're using - that is the first goal.  then, one step at a time with everything else... it makes getting things done SO much more manageable if you simply take one thing at a time.

please know this to be true.

and many have been where you are, and are now in a much better place.

you can be too.

i wish you nothing but success.  there's NO reason you can't do this.... none.  it's hard, but you can certainly do it...

with luv,
mj

[CadillacJack]

Hey, remember some of my posts a couple of days ago? I was the same way, and somewhat suicidal, I hate to say. This is a roller coaster ride we're on. It'll get better. You'll probably awaken tomorrow morning feeling fine.

cj

[sadinmichigan]

I'm sorry your feeling like this..I have alot of those days too..just trying to fight them..not always easy..definately a roller coaster ride..and i want off this one!!

[Mikeinthesouth]

This addiction can drive us mad and on top of that if you are still using it makes things so much more out of control. Are you going to get off the percocet? It is not an easy thing to do or I speak for myself would not be so dagoone addicted and would have gone ct a long time ago. Hang in there. My love to you and yours

[addict3]

Lady,
Did you take the dogs for that ride? You might be suprised what 15+ minutes out of the house will do for you.
Git in the jeep and go!!
Gas aint that high!!
Thoughts and Prayers

[theeagle]

You know, last year on this holiday I was still at the on again/off again stage - couldnt give those pills the final kick - real roller coaster of highs and lows. Hard to believe what a difference a little time can make.........hang in there Lady.....don't give those Italian Doc's any ammunition. You are strong.

[worried878]

I think lots of us are feeling strange feelings this weekend...i will try to give u a call when i get home if it is not too late,,,holidays are strange that way...u will be fine...u r a strong lady

[Brrrrad]

I don`t know if it helps but i am there w/ you sometimes. Rollercoaster is the perfect way to discribe it. I pray you don`t need those pills anymore,don`t let them take anymore away from you.  

[NautyOne]

Lady,

Honey, I'm not going to judge you or tell you to flush you pills or anything like that.  We know how hard this is.  Depression is a part of the  addiction on or off the pills.  Go easy on yourself right now.  for the moment, the next few hours and there  is tomorrow.  Remember when I was completely overwhelmed   over backing into my mom's stupid car.......days I dwelled and was whaaaaaaaing about it and you helped me thru it.  I know what you are going thru......we are in the same boat, but just a little different.  You will get thru this and I miss your messages.  message me......what's going on?  Talk to me in private................PLEASE MESSAGE ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luv,
Nauty

[j33]

After reading ur post i think you are my long lost twin sister! ;) i I feel EVERYTHING you wrote. It doesn't matter how many pills i take now,  they only bring on more guilt. I've battled  w/  depression for YEARS!! I used to be addicted to meth/coke and when i got to the end of using,  it was this feeling i have now that i remember. The guilt, guilt, guilt.. I do not abuse those other drugs, just vicodin. (ok, i also love ambien)  ;)  i'm trying to taper from 10's  vic to the 7.5's. Feels impossible. hope you are doing better today. do know if it helps, but ur not alone.