Treatment plan / Second opinion

[Noelle73]

I have stress urinary incontinence, and I must wear Poise pads or some type of pad every day.  I went to see a physician for it and he said I "don't have" stress urinary incontinence.  I am 5'6, 180 pounds and when the doctor performed the various "tests," he said there was no "leakage."  For one, I am terribly embarrassed at the though of urinating or anything else in front of anyone, so even though he told me to relax, I tightened my urethra.   Also, since I am overweight, the urine that did leak did not go down my leg or to the floor because my vaginal lips pretty much held all the fluid that leaked.  I didn't point this out to him because the doctor seemed repulsed at having to examine me.  I don't know if it was my weight, or my race that offended him.  Either way, he treated me as if I was an inanimate object and rushed through the exam.   After the urethral tests, he examined my vagina and asked me to perform kegel squeezes and said that my muscles were tight, but there was a noticeable void after entering the vaginal opening.  I told the physician that my husband has an extremely large penis and he has stretched my vagina considerably, and it feels like he's pretty much rearranged the placement of all of my pelvic organs.  My husband said my vagina is not tight at all and it is affecting our sex life.  I asked the doctor if his large penis could be the cause of my stress incontinence, or if it was my two vaginal childbirths, or my chronic constipation.  He informed me I just needed to continue to do Kegel exercises and there was nothing else that he could do.  He then instructed me to get dressed and I left.  I felt very humiliated and embarrassed.  I think I should I get a second opinion, but I fear total embarrassment again?  I think I will opt for a female urogynecologist if I do.   I am quite depressed about not being able to please my husband, as well as the stress urinary incontinence since I'm only 34 years old.   Please advise.  Thanks.

[Lennox Hoyte, M.D.]

I am sorry to hear about your experience. Please locate a fellowship traine durogynecologist, who can tactfully assist you in identifying andf fixing your problem. Urogynecologists who trained originally as OB/Gyn mds tend to be nicer than your experience would suggest. A clue is to ask the nurse if the doctor is "nice" to his patients. If you are having difficulty locating someone, email me with your location, and I can see if I can recommend someone to you. lhoyte at health dot usf dot edu

Dr. HOyte

[Toomanyadvil]

Hi, I'm so sorry you were made to feel so embarassed and humiliated. You didnt mention what type of DR you saw. Was it a gyno or a Uro...maybe I just missed it.
Another option you may want to look into is PFD short for Pelvic Floor Dysfunction.
When this happens the pelvic muscles which hold in all your abdominal organs can become too tight or too lose and cause leaks or problems in actually starting a stream.
  I believe to get this checked out you would have to find a PFD specialist. They would do a hands on exam and then if it is found you have PFD they can teach you exersizes to help strengthen the muscle.
'
I hope you can find a DR to help you with this problem. I know how enbarassing it can feel to leak or have to wear something to help.  Get a different DR if they made you feek uncomfortable. I cant imagine that it had anything to do with you, your weight or your race. He is obviously awful at making his patients feel comfortable and you deserve to have a DR put you at ease and not make you feel embarassed for anything.

Good luck in finding the answeres your looking for:)

[Debbie61308]

I had suffered with SUI since my 3rd child was born 17 years ago.  Seven years ago I finally became brave enough to speak to my doctor about it.  I had no idea how many women actually suffer from the same thing.  He suggested that I go to see a Urologist.  Well, I chose the wrong Urologist.  Instead of trying to make me feel better and reassure me that many other women share the same problem, he humiliated me.  When I told him that I'd been suffering with this problem for ten years, his comment to me was "Well, it can't be THAT bad if it's taken you ten years to see a doctor about it!".  OMG.  Talk about wanting to crawl in a hole and pretend that I had never gone to see him.  I was so humiliated that I didn't bring it up with my regular doctor for several more years.  

Finally, I found a great Urologist.  I am now 3 weeks post-op from having a sling surgery along with a hysterectomy.  I feel great.  Best of all, I don't swear as much.  Whenever I used to cough or sneeze and leak urine, I'd say "Oh ****!".  Not any more.  For the previous 6 months I had finally gone to wearing Depends on a full time basis.  At 49, they're not very sexy.  Thank heavens I have a wonderful husband.  Since surgery, I've not leaked once during a cough, sneeze, throat clearing, bending, breathing, etc.  I'm still having a little problem with urgency issues though.  The Urologist wants me to stay off of Ditropan until I see him in another 3 weeks to determine if I need to go back on it for that problem.  As long as I no longer need the Depends, I'm fine with going back on Ditropan.

I highly recommend you find a good Urologist or GynoUrologist and have the sling surgery.  My bladder is finally high and dry and I feel re-born.