What is wrong with my boyfriend??

[babygirl232]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months going on 5. He is 18, turning 19 in november. When we met he was a generally happy person. But lately he seems to be set off easier. He gets upset quicker and annoyed. Not with me, he said that I am what keeps him calm, but he is upset with life, his family. All he wants to do is have time alone with me. And when we don't spend time with just me and him, he gets even worse. I dont know what to do. I really care for him. And I just want to make him happy, but I don't like to be at his house all day doing nothing either. Is something wrong with him? Hormones? Age? Can someone help me figure out whats going on inside his head?

[888mom]

Hard to say without knowing more.  If he's having trouble with you seeing other people and having other friends and spending time with them outside of the time you spend with him, that's an issue for you to deal with.  It's not a good scenario to get into.  I've been married for many years at this point, so it's been a long while since I've dated, but I was engaged to a different guy back in college, and I had to leave because he had depression issues and he wouldn't talk to me about them.  He also became controlling and when he told me that I couldn't be friends with this one other girl who I had been friends with before I dated him, well, it was just over. We had dated for a year, and were engaged for a month, and I had to break it off.  As much as I loved this guy, it was not a healthy relationship, and he was not working with me to address his issues.  I ended up dating my current husband after that relationship, and well, I'm happy about that.  Not to say that the other guy was not great, but if he wouldn't talk to me and get help for issues he had, I was not going to let his issues become my issues.

18/19 probably is a rough age.  He is probably dealing with hormones.  Concerns like, if he's going to college or if he's not, should he go to college.  What job will he have, does he like his current job, what career track to be on.  So many huge immense things to decide at 18/19.  I remember going through depression when I got out of college because of career things.  I remember having stress and depression when working certain jobs.  Being married, though... well, you stick it out through those things... but, since you aren't married to him and haven't been dating too terribly long, if he won't talk to you about these things and can't give you more freedom to see other friends besides him, then you have to ask yourself, do you want to stay?  Is it healthy for you to stay?  It's not so much the depression that's concerning, but the fact that he's trying to dictate to you how you spend your time.  It sounds like he's manipulating you and trying to control you.  I mean, if he's getting grumpy and depressed if you aren't alone with him, that's not fair to you.

[babygirl232]

He pretty much lets me do what I want. So that isn't really an issue. I love spending time with him. But I am a really active person. I like to be up and moving around. And he likes to relax. That is something that is understandable. I was thinking about when this all started and I realized that it was when he started working out more. He drinks this muscle milk stuff and I am going to do some research and see if that could be one of the problems. I have been in several manipulative, controlling and verbally abusive relationships and this is not the same. thank you for your advice though. I do make sure to have girl time with my friends or to just stay home with my family and hang out with them. Since he works and I don't, I just use that time for myself. But thank you again.