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Back from OB appointment

by adgal, May 30, 2008 07:07PM
Unfortunately it is not meant to be this time for us either.  It looks like things stopped to develop between 6 & 7 weeks.  I am absolutely devasted right now, and am going to spend a few hours just wallowing in self pity.  I have a D&C scheduled for sunday, I am going to let myself be sad for a bit, then I am going to pick my chin up off the floor and try again.  My heart tells me I am meant to be a mom, and I will not give up on this.

Thanks so much everyone for all the support and the lovely notes and pm's of encouragment.  This site is such a wonderful place, and I can't wait to be back with another BFP.  You are a truly lovely group of women, and I hope you all have perfect healthy pregnancies and babies!  I am still going to come here, as so many of you have been where I am and your stories give me so much hope.  Hugs to you all.
Member Comments (20)

by maybebaby29, May 30, 2008 07:10PM
Oh no, no, no. I'm so, so sorry. It will happen for you. Believe it. Good luck with everything.

by sarge1, May 30, 2008 07:25PM
I am so so sorry for your loss.  Your spirit is amazing.  

by mamaof6, May 30, 2008 07:37PM
To: adgal
Oh my hun! I am soo sorry! Ive been hovering around here all day to hear from you. I know God will bless you w/ a lil one. I agree w/ sarge1, your spirit is def. very amazing!  You take care of you and I know it will all work out. Keep the faith!

by Helen72, May 30, 2008 08:34PM
I am so very sorry...  My heart goes out to you and your dh.

by BriannesMom#4, May 30, 2008 08:49PM
To: adgal
Hi I feel so bad for you But you will be back on here in no time!

Best wishes to you and Family.....



Sincerly Sandi, And thanks for being a support for me Sweetie.

Big Huggs.

by fortysgirl, May 30, 2008 09:23PM
To: adgal
I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear that you have to go through this again.  I also had a m/c at 6 - 7 weeks so I've been there.  I'm TCC now and sometimes it is just so hard to remain positive, but you and many of the other women on this site have been such a great inpiration to me that it gives me the courage and strength to keep trying for that BFP.  So keep your head up and know that you aren't alone in this.  I'm sure you'll get that BFP soon.

by valleybabes, May 30, 2008 10:38PM
Oh hun I am deeply sorry for what you are going through.  I am shedding tears at this moment for you.  I have been protecting my pregnancy since my mishaps with all the bleeding I have had.  I was so in fear of my pregnancy ending and I have come this far already and have better hopes....but I do feel your pain and my entire heart goes out to you and your husband.  I know by reading all your posts and responses that you are a very strong and hopeful woman.  I know you will try again and yes I feel your energy as a wonderful human being.  Adgal, you stand out so much on this forum!!!  It will happen for you again I just know it.  I will say prayers for you and DH tonight!!!

Much love to you!!!  Delma

by adgal, May 30, 2008 11:31PM
Aww. thank you so much everyone. I will fully admit, I am doing a bit of self medicating tonight. My DH is unreachable, so my best friend came over, and I got drunk with her.  I need to not feel pain for a few hours... God, this hurts so much..You are all the best, and I can't tell you what your notes and pms have meant to me. I am going to do this, I was meant to be a mom, and I know it will happen.  I love you all so much, and wish you the best.  Thank you for being there for me.  I hope you don't mind if I still continue to be on this site and comment on things.  It helps so much to hear all the positive stories, and to help others going through difficult times.  Best to all of you and thank you.

Amanda

by 40smama, May 31, 2008 01:02AM
I believe in my heart also that you're suppose to be a mom too.  Keep listening to your heart's desire - your dream will come true.  I know it hurts so much - I totally understand your pain.  Please stay on this site, amanda.  Your comments are always welcomed plus we want to be there when you get your BFP.  

by carpediemforlife, May 31, 2008 12:38PM
Amanda....Im sitting here crying for you. You know I just knew in my heart this was your time.  Reading this brought back the hurt and frustration Ive had w/my 2 m/c.  And when I know of someone so deserving it really hurts my heart.  Your blessing with it being so early on is helpful somewhat. But a loss is a loss. Im glad your friend was there for you and I honestly wish somedays I could have a drink or 2. :-) Please take it one day at a time.  And know I am hear even if its just to vent.  Please stay on here and keep us company....and we await your BFP for your baby to be. Big HUG to you my friend!! I feel blessed to know you.

by prevatt77, May 31, 2008 01:55PM
Amanda,

I'm so sad for you right now.  Please, Please don't give up hope, things will turn out for you and you will be blessed with a family.  Keep your chin up and stay positive.  I'm so sorry that you're going through this again.  I had 4 prior and I know what you're going through.  God will be with you through your hard times.

Debbie

by adgal, May 31, 2008 03:22PM
Thank you all again so much.  I am feeling a bit better today, just sad.  But, completely determined to ttc again as soon as possible.  DH is on his way home, he got into cell service range and we talked.  Hearing his voice was so what I needed, and he is home in about 8 hours.  I am a little nervous about my D&C tomorrow, but had no trouble the last time I had one, and am glad it means this will be over quickly.  Physically, I feel fine right now.  Still no cramping, and no bleeding right now either, so I am having a bit of a hard time accepting it, feel a bit like I am aborting or something, but the u/s yesterday left absolutely no doubt.  Also, my second set of HCG's, numbers had gone down a bit from tuesdays, so I know for sure.  Thanks again everyone, you guys are the best, and although I hope none of you have anything but smooth sailing through the remainder of your pregnancy, I am always here to listen if you need me.

by cpatow, Jun 01, 2008 08:07AM
Oh Sweetheart I am so sorry. You WILL do this one day and you have to believe that in your heart. There just aren't any words but you have such a good attitude and that will carry you through a lot! I will say prayers for you for healing and also the future. Much love,
Christina

by LisaRG, Jun 01, 2008 08:56AM
To: Amanda
I was feeling sorry formyself after a BFN and now I feel like a fool.
I think your attitude is fantastic!  I had 2 or my own m/c  so your loss is close to my heart- have a drink for me - and a really fattening pasta in heavy cream sauce meal!
And keep on trying.
Lisa

by alikat1205, Jun 01, 2008 09:16AM
I am so sorry.  I really thought with your numbers you would have great news.  And a little self medicating with a good friend is what you needed.  

by wannabenana, Jun 01, 2008 12:50PM
I hope each day gets better and better for you. Know that you are in my daily prayers.

by adgal, Jun 01, 2008 11:39PM
Hey all,

I am home now.  Was checked in at 8am this morning, had my D&C and was released this evening.  Just got home, its 10:30pm here.  I feel ok physically.  DH got home last night so he was with me for the majority of the day today, and was just my rock. He was incredible.  All I need now is sleep, still a bit drugged up from the morphine and other stuff they gave me, and some time to work through all the emotions.  And then off on another TTC journey.  I am optimistic, they are doing a bunch of testing on the tissue and a few more tests on me.  They really think its just bad luck though, which is good, because that means hopefully all works out next time.  And there is going to be a next time.  As usual you are all so incredible, and talking to all of you so helps me stay positive.  Thank you again for all the notes, prayers and messages.  They have really helped me get through the last few days.