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Alcoholic, Living with an Community
This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.
Slightly worried
by azezal, Jun 01, 2008 09:43PM
I am slightly worried because my GF who Ive been with for 6 years says she is leaving me. I drink about 30 a day/night and also have some dependence on painkillers. I am often violent, mostly to myself, but others aswell including my GF.
To make things more complex I am diagnosed with clinical depression, borderline personality disorder and possibly a sociopath after a car crash.where my frontal lobes got destroyed. I am sort of emotionally dead. I dont really have any feelings about anyone else. All I care about is dying nicely.
The problem is I want to die with something and have a shipment of pentobarbital large enough to kill a herd of elephants heading my way.
I dont even know what I am asking. I dont even have psysical attration to the human body. I am just fascinated with death these days and go to sleep thinking of death and wake up thinking of death. I guess I hate myself and most, I dont know.
To make things more complex I am diagnosed with clinical depression, borderline personality disorder and possibly a sociopath after a car crash.where my frontal lobes got destroyed. I am sort of emotionally dead. I dont really have any feelings about anyone else. All I care about is dying nicely.
The problem is I want to die with something and have a shipment of pentobarbital large enough to kill a herd of elephants heading my way.
I dont even know what I am asking. I dont even have psysical attration to the human body. I am just fascinated with death these days and go to sleep thinking of death and wake up thinking of death. I guess I hate myself and most, I dont know.
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You must talk to someone. Make an appt to speak with a family doctor, psychiatrist, social worker, or other therapist. Go to your local mental health department. Go to your church, if you go to one, and ask for help. Ask a family member or other person you trust for help. If you get desperate, you can even walk into any emergency room and tell them what you have told us here and need help - they will get you social service assist. There are many people out there that care and will help.
You definitely need to take the first step - I think you know that. If you do not take action asap, you may do something that changes your life forever. Get the help you need so you can start living a happier, lighter life. You sound young (?) - there is much ahead for you that is good if you get the help you need now.
Best of luck.