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Depression Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to depression, counseling, sleep problems, and nutrition.
Need to help my 23 yr daughter
by jthedriver, Jun 04, 2008 11:30AM
My ex-husband tried to commit suicide this past weekend, thank god the gun misfired. This is the second time he has tried, last time was 9 yrs ago. The reason why Iam uncertain about. The problem is my daughter doesn't see it as her father needs help and support from his love ones. She cried for a few hours when she found out he was in the hospital. Now she is very angry with him and vows that she will never speak to him. She continues to say she is embarressed by him and that he is just taking the easy way out as he always does. This is not my opinion, how do or do I try to make her understand. I honestly believe this is a guard on her emotions, and if he does succeed one day I do not what her to regret missing the time that could of been. He also has 2 more children 14yrs & 12yrs old who feel the same way. Do I just let her get over her anger? Or do I keep explaining that he is in need of help ?
Thank you for any kind of help
J
Thank you for any kind of help
J
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is no other option. The pain is so bad that you just want the pain to stop.
Although, I think anger is completely normal. Counseling??
Definitely get her some therapy....she needs to deal with how she feels...and talking to a third party person is always so helpful for that. Right now, she prolly feels so vulnerable...after all....our parents are always supposed to be the ones in control...and there for their children...right now...the roles are somewhat reversed. That is confusing and probably leaves her feeling scared and insecure.
If she opens up to you at all....be an active listener...and rather trying to come up with an "answer" for her concerns...just ask her open-ended questions where she might be able to elaborate on her feelings. Example...if she says..."Dad is such a jerk....I cannot believe he did this!!" Instead of saying..."Honey, dad is sick and needs helps and needs our love." Say something like..."How does that make you feel?" If she goes on....just support her and tell her her feelings are hers, unique and very valid....and make sure that she knows it is in no way her fault. You didnt say how old she is....that wikll make a difference too in her feelings and reactions.
Best of luck..I wish you all the best. I hope your husband gets the help he needs. I cannot even imagine what an awful situation you're whoe family is in. You're in my thoughts.
I wouldn't expect anyone that isn't a sufferer themselves to really understand. For a non-sufferer to truly understand the pain of this disease is kind of like trying to explain sight to a lifelong blind person. There just isn't really anything to relate it to.
I don't think she is trying to be harsh or uncareing. She just doesn't understand it and she may never.
Just try to explain to her that Depressive dissorder isn't a choice. For the same reason that I do not have the ability to understand how or why people with Anerexia starve themselves, she can't understand why someone with severe depression would want to kill themselves.
Sometimes the mind can only understand things it has directly experienced.