questions for those in recovery

[grievingwidow]

I have asked this question a couple times in the last few days but gotten only a few responses so will try again.  I am closer than I have ever been before to "taking the leap" and would like some feedback on those who are now drug-free or who have been in the recent past.  I want to know if you can say that you truly feel better off the drugs than when you were taking.  I know there are many reasons to stop the hold addiction has on us but I also want to have hope that there are days that you actually feel good and maybe even happy, not just physiologically but physically.  It has been 20 years since I have gone more than one day without some type of opiate so I don't have a real good memory of what life was like "before".

Thanks so much in advance for anyone who can find the time to answer.  I don't want to be the party pooper on this Friday night but if you have any info on the subject, would appreciate it.  It is so hard to make this decision, it feels like I will be jumping off a cliff literally (and I am afraid of heights!).  When I do quit, I will have to go to rehab, in my current physical condition, I don't think doing it on my own would be wise.


Love, Cindy

[CATUF]

I'm just over two years clean.  I feel MUCH better than at any time when I was using and better than most of my pre-use time.  There have been two key things for me (beyond not using):  1)  Amino acid therapy (see End Your Addiction Now, by Gant and/or the Mood Cure, by Ross); and 2) Learning, and trying, to live according to spiritual principals, i.e. to become honest, open, and willing.

[grievingwidow]

Gosh, let me also give you a BIG pat on the back!  You are my inspiration, I feel like if I don't to do this soon, I never will. I don't want to go the rest of my life with my days revolving around my next doctor's appointment making sure I get my meds in time.  I cannot even plan any extensive trips because I have to be back here for one of those prescriptions that cannot be written with refills.  Well congrats again friend, and Good Luck.  You are one strong lady.

Love, Cindy

[lucyred68]

it is deffinately worth it.  i am 9 days out from methadone and even though it is still a little rough, i have my personality back.  people like to be around me again.  i had turned into a whining zombie.  no-one wanted to be around me.  i'm still a little edgy (re. previous post, lol),  but doing better every day.  i had my doctor's help. in fact i talked to the recepionist, and the whole office is talking about me.  i am the only person they know who ever got off methadone.  pretty proud of myself.  (patting myself on back)

Lucy

[Tim2H]

Don't be scared. It is not a picnic but is possible. I think the hardest part for me is after the physical and the cravings. I am feeling so much better today and it is day 23. It actually went by fast. Don't be afraid!!!  You are going to feel so much better.

Tim

[grievingwidow]

Thank you all for your honesty and sinceriety in answering my post.  I am still scared but closer I think to doing "it".  Dave, I worked for an orthopedic surgeon for many years and know how painful and debilitating avascular necrosis can be, seems to always be alcohol related.  I hope your hips are functioning well now - the wonders of modern medicine huh?  Wish we could cure addiction by a few hours in the operating room!

Thanks again for all who were so sweet to help me out.

Love, Cindy

[boxgirl]

QUIT!! It is so much better on the other side. I am detoxing for the second time (this time on suboxone) Why I went back to the Vicodin??? A mystery? But it is great being sober -hard at first, suboxone seems to be the way to go. I have been on it for 10 days. I will be weening off -starting tomorrow, I don't wake up wanting it so I don't feel like it is going to be that hard. Best of luck I do know it is a hard decision.

[grievingwidow]

Hey, I have not seen you post before, but there are usually a couple days of the week that I am not around.  Thanks so much for your advice though - I can tell that you feel very strongly about life being better off drugs than on, so thanks for that.  I have considered the suboxone thing but I feel like I need to be an official rehab to have better changes of not relapsing.  I have been addicted for 20 years and feel like I may need a prolonged stay in a controlled environment for this to have a better chance of working.  But I am impressed with the Suboxone, it definitely is a way to continue working and not have to explain "where you have gone".  Thanks again for your concern.

Love, Cindy

[Dave W.]

Hi Cindy,I can definaetly tell you that I felt really good when I was clean for
the only 2 months in the past 12 whole years after rehab.I honestly felt free
from drugs and didn't even want to take a Tylenol after rehab. As my luck would have it,the damage I did to my body from the 8 year Coke and Alcohol
abuse,gave me a bone disease called AVN,that killed the bones in my hips,
requiring me to have both my hips replaced,or spend the rest of my life in a
damn wheelchair. I can honestly say,that I made peace withmyself back before
the surgeries,and can say if it wasn't for my chronic pain presently,I'd be drug-
free to this day.I'm not making excuses,but since I do have an addictive
personality,I'm back on this Train -Wreck called Addiction. I do want the drug-
free me back ASAP,that's why I just stopped the 4 yr. Methadone program I
was on cold turkey,even if it would have killed me.I'm still here,though,not
looking for sympathy,just trying to give and get support.Good Luck Cindy,and
Everyone on their road to recovery.

[FLaddict]

I was clean for almost 6 years. I can honestly say that it was great. It was hard in the beginning but got so much easier.. I look at myself now, and while I am not the former addict that I once was when i was shooting heroin smoking crack and doing things I had never imagined a girl would do at 17 yr old. I can still see that person... I can see how easy it would be to become that.. I know my life was great before. It was worth it.  I still cannot understand how someone as bright as me would think I could take pain pills to the degree I did and not pay consequences... it just didn't occur to me.. my addiction that was still there lurking, gave me amnesia... it made me forget the pain I went through and that I put my family through... I forgot that I almost did serious time for selling drugs. Those "friends" of mine that got put away.. are still there.. How could I forget.. and give up all that my cleanliness had given me. I don't know if I answered your exact question.. sorry if I went off on one of my rants... I am just grateful that I have a second chance....

[Tim2H]

This is 23 days for me and probably the first that I felt my old self.