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Starting to work dilema (PLEASE I NEED ADVISE)
by tazz00057, Jun 09, 2008 03:20PM
Hey ladies I'm going to need some really good advise on this. My twins are about 4months and a half and I have a 4 yr. old daughter. My husband has been unemployed for about 7 months and finally he found a job he started today. Before he started this job we had a discussion on how we are going to work this out. He basically told me that I'll have to take care of them during the night, morning and afternoon. I'm afraid that I'm going to loss it. Today was my first day and luckily my sister was here to help me but she is leaving today in the afternoon :( I really haven't been able to catch any zzzz's today and if this is going to be happening everyday I think I'm going to loss it. I'm really frustrated ;( PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!! I really can't rely on my mother-in-law because to her the cleaning of her house is more important so basically I'm on my own.
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Do you mean you just don't think you can take care of them alone?
SAHM or not, you have to have just a little time when you are not dealing with the babies.
If its only perhaps that he can give them baths after dinner, or something where you can have an hour to yourself, there should be at least an hour or two a day that you can call your own. And they can have time alone with their Dad.
I work part time, so that is when I get a break. My husband helps as much as he can when he is home, but it's usually the two of us tag teaming during the dinner & bedtime hour. Neither one of us really gets a break until the kids are asleep. My dh is great with the kids, but he's overwhelmed by all three. At this stage, I'm not able to get a daily break as others have suggested. It's just not realistic when you have 2 infants, plus one. I have tried on occasion, to sleep in an extra hour on a weekend morning, but I hear all the chaos downstairs, and I can't relax.
My advice is to see if you can get some coverage for 1 or 2 kids on occasion. I sometimes leave dh with our older daughter and 1 baby and I take the other baby and go shopping. Or, maybe a friend or relative could take your older daughter for a few hours once a week. My MIL takes our older one every monday from 4-7pm and it makes a HUGE difference. Last summer, I also hired a pre-teen neighbor (as a mother's helper, so cheaper than a regular sitter) help for 2 hours one morning a week while I was home. She wasn't experienced enough to help with the babies, but she entertained our older DD which at least gave me a little mental break.
The good news is that it WILL get easier and you probably wont feel so sleep deprived in a few more months. Explain to dh that you may need him to go the extra mile on occasion until things are more routine. When my kids were younger, I tried my best to cover the night feedings, but once or twice a week, I had to make dh get up and help. Sometimes it's better that he is overtired for his day than you being overtired for your day with the kids. Good Luck! feel free to PM me, even if just to vent to someone who can relate- lol! (Sry for the long post)