Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
Oral sex * husbands
Answered by
Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D. - Sexuality, family, Sexual Identity
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
Oral sex * husbands
by redkitty, Jun 12, 2008 06:07PM
My husband has wanted oral sex more then actual intercourse in the past year and a half. He says that he needs it in order to get it up to be able to preform better. What could be the cause if there is one? I do not enjoy giving oral mainly because he does not preform for me, and if there is something that can be done that will help in him not needing it as often then I would be grateful. Thanks!
Doctor's Answer
by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., Jun 17, 2008 06:03PM
, Jun 17, 2008 06:03PM
To: redk itty
it sounds like he is having erection problems and that oral sex helps him get or stay erect. If this is the real issue, you should talk to him about looking into Viagra or one of the drugs ( Caelis, Levitra) that help maintain erections. He should at least be willing to go to a doctor and get a test that sees if his testosterone is low or blood flow is impeded..
Meanwhile, you should not have to do more oral sex than you really want. You are not there as a service worker but as his partner. Sure, you can do some to please him- but not when it is so obviously not fun for you. We should all try and please our partners- but not be alienated by doing something that is not even somewhat pleasurable
If he won't see a doctor to look into some help and if he insists on oral sex ( does he return the favor?) and you don't want to concentrate on that-- then you insist on going to see a sexual or relationship therapist to see what can be worked out between you. Remember- this is a marriage , not sex for hire- and you shouldn't be put in that position.
Meanwhile, you should not have to do more oral sex than you really want. You are not there as a service worker but as his partner. Sure, you can do some to please him- but not when it is so obviously not fun for you. We should all try and please our partners- but not be alienated by doing something that is not even somewhat pleasurable
If he won't see a doctor to look into some help and if he insists on oral sex ( does he return the favor?) and you don't want to concentrate on that-- then you insist on going to see a sexual or relationship therapist to see what can be worked out between you. Remember- this is a marriage , not sex for hire- and you shouldn't be put in that position.
Member Comments (5)
by jml1986, Jun 12, 2008 09:56PM
There is no reason for it except he must enjoy it. I wouldn't give unless I was getting personally. Love making is about two people and if one isn't getting any pleasure out of it and the other is, then there needs to be some changes made.
by SixStringer, Jun 14, 2008 11:11AM
To: redkitty
A marriage is all about give and take and working as a team for the benefit of both. When it comes to sex, each partner should be satisfied. For many men, a blowjob feels better than intercourse depending upon where and how the woman uses her lips and tongue. However, he should perform oral on you once he has been satisfied, or you both could do "69" and stay in position until you both are satisfied. Variety is nice too, so intercourse might be done also, with you on top sometimes. He is being selfish, and marriage counseling may be in order.
by goldenlady1976, Jun 21, 2008 05:20PM
To: redkitty
Sounds like he just enjoy having oral sex.. But he should do you too! Men get spoiled very easily when it comes to sex. But they have to spoil you too. Turn the tables, tell him what he told you. That you would perform better if he did you.
by Ookami11, Jun 27, 2008 12:09AM
Idea? Try suggesting 69ing or maybe you perform oral on him while he fingers you etc. That way its not one sided. If he refuses than you shouldn't perform it. He is acting selfishly then.
