Bipolar diagnosis - does anyone else experience these things?!

[Slimoo]

I am experiencing a lot of symptoms. When I was younger I was always introverted and generally withdrawn, but ever since I entered university things have worsened greatly. I have been experiencing instances of intense rage; I exploded twice at school and four times at home. The problem is that things have been getting steadily worse for me. I have lost a great deal of interest and energy to do things; I went to a school therapists who recommended that I get treated for depression, but I did not tell her the other 'half' of my symptoms. I have an appt to see a psychiatrist on Monday. I was glad that my roommate left the previous semester, because last semester I spent a great deal of time alone in my room sobbing. The semester previous I spent $600 on clothes and food (the latter has always been a crutch for me since I was about six), mostly on clothes that I either hate or just didn't fit. It's a battle to concentrate on schoolwork, and I am prone to anxiety attacks and panic attacks; especially when I take exams or make vain attempts at some serious studying.

I have other concerns about my symptoms. I have also had strange sensations in my brain for some time now, along with "streaking" pains at the sides of my head, that worsen as times goes on. I've been told they are just migraines, but I feel anything from a strange sense of disorientation to the feeling that my head resides in a tight clamp. It's summer break now; I had a mental breakdown two days ago that got so bad that I had to make an appt. to see a psychiatrist after this weekend. I feel even more isolated and alone than I normally do; my parents have moved my siblings into their room with them and lock to door at night. I have a lot of worries about bipolar treatment, especially since I have read that medication can decrease cognitive ability; I am already having problems and have barely been able to hang on to a 2.6 in school. Also, I am studying mechanical engineering and I'm not sure if I will be able to even graduate if I am placed on a medicational-cocktail, but my mom insists that things wont' get better and that she won't be able to tolerate me unless I see a psych and get meds. Does anyone with formally diagnosed BPD experience the head symptoms that I was talking about? What about dizzy spells when you bend down? I really hope that I have not added a psychosis angle to my problems, but I feel as though I am in a car without a steering wheel or brakes. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[ings81]

yes i read through your symptoms the head thing i thought that was just me. you have just described me.i havnt been diagnosed wit bpd i was diagnosed with depressive mood disorder,add,ocd&anxiety.but things are worse i am in the worst depressed state of my life i can't take it anymore and now one understands i am so alone and isolated.i am 26 married wit 4 kids.and.it seems like your mum and my husband should try being like you and me and we can tell them we can't tollerate them.they don't have a clue.i can't stop crying.my shrink wanted me in hospital i have the same concerns as you with mood stabilisers but i don't want to live like this.you should be able to still study don't it beat you. add & bipolar are similar and stimulant meds worked wit me until i fell pregnant 2 yrs ago. with any luck its hopefully add not bpd.i here for u we aren't alone.