unexpectantly pregnant buy Ghanian man that studies in South Africa - worried about HIV

[kmh504]

I was studying abroad in South Africa (from Chicago) when I met a guy and we dated for 2 months. We first had sex at the end of our first month together w/ a condom and a couple of times in the beginning of May. I knew all was good because I got my period in the middle of the month. We had sex a few times at the end of the month and jsut before I left in the begging of June. That last time we had sex, the condom slipped off and ke hept having sex w/ me for a couple of mins until I realized and made him stop. I freaked! I started screaming. You got me pregnant. You gave me HIV ( my 2 biggest fears). I spoke too soon on one count. DESPITE taking the morning after pill I still got pregnant! And had to have an abortion. Now Im scared that because he got me pregnant he could have infected me as well. I asked him before we started going out about his status and he exxlaimed he gets tested regularly because he now lives in south africa and plays on the university soccer team. After the condom incident and pregnancy I blammed him I called him every day telling him he better not be lying. He went to the clinic 3 times one week and let me talk to the nurse but the nurse said "by law she couldnt tell me his status over the phone" but he was so eager for me to believe he kept saying" im negative, she can hear me say it, im negative." He told me one night that he is sick of me asking him the same question over and that now it is causing HIM to question me. I feel bad that the main reason I do not believe him is because he is african and living in HIV paradise-south africa-but also because i lost a lot of trust in him for aiding me in getting pregnant. I wish I could believe him. deep down i think i do but something holds me back. I can't get tested yet as it has only bee 3 weeks but I will be test come the 3 week mark. I was tested in May and was negative so if he is truthful I know I am negative. Ive jsut been stressing myself out between that and the pregnancy (which is finally over and offering me some relief). But i was just curious, because my doc told me the same thing before I left for south africa that it is not that easy to contract HIV and I had a better chance at contracting something like HPV. Well I will be totally reassured once i take the test but...I just need some peace right now.

[Teak]

You need to test at 3 months to get a conclusive test. South Africa has one of the highest populations infected with HIV. HIV1 is more prevalent than HIV 2 so no the information your doctor gave you was incorrect.

[diver58]

This is true that HIV is not easy to catch, but this fact remains there that unprotected vaginal or anal (condom failure or total slippage is the same by definition) sex is the primary source of transmission via sexual route.

As Teak very rightly mentioned, you got yourself involved in a country, with very high rate of HIV infected polulation, the only option for you is, to relax, calm down (what happened has happened) and wait for 3 month mark to get a conclusive result. We wish you all the best. HIV 2 is dominent in western africa, not in the southern part of the continent.

[kmh504]

Well he found a nurse on campus in stellenbosch that didn't mind "breaking the rules " for me and telling me he was negative. And she kind of scolded us lol And she let me call her back at her office. I took a test to the other day and it was negative but ill go back in like 3 or 4 weeks to be sure. But not really worried anymore...thanks for...helping me worry guys? lol No but I am not worried anymore :)