Extremely Scared - Herpes - Not sure who gave it to who

[confusedkid]

Hey Guys,

Just wanted to say thanks for all your help on this forum. I'm a 22 year old straight male who has always used protection and been with about 18 girls by now (I know; its a fairly high number, but after this, I'm going to be EXTREMELY careful). Like I said, I've always practiced safe sex, and the condom has never slipped off or broken. I only have vaginal sex too, no anal. I have never had any STD symptoms, and currently do not have any.

I have recently had sex with an older women 2 times protected (both short encounters - one time for a few minutes, and one time for like 45 seconds). Once a few weeks ago, and once last Sunday (8 days ago). She had been sick with a really bad case of strep throat in between those times. She went on antibiotics and thought she had a yeast infection (cause she usually gets them  starting wednesday night with some pain. The "yeast infection" started getting blisters and weird discharge and she was really swollen down there (not to mention it didn't go away), and we just got back from the doctor today, and they think she most likely has herpes. They did take a swab and they will know for sure in a few days, but the doctor was so sure she already gave her a prescription for herpes medication.

Her sexual history is she is 44 and has had about the same number of partners as me. She has had six long term relationships though (ranging from like 6 months to many years) where she has not used protection. The doctor thinks that she could have possibly gotten it then (since she believes shes never actually been tested for herpes despite having regular std tests cause its not in the regular panel of tests, and she doesn't think that her partners have either).

I know its also possible she got it from me, or that I don't have it and she gave it to me now (I have never gotten a herpes test, I went in yesterday and a complete STD panel including a IgM (which I later learned is a bad test from your site) test and IgG tests for both strains. I will know within a day or two, but even then I will have to wait 3 months after having sex with her that last time to make sure I don't have herpes.

Any advice? Do you think I have it? What do you recommend? What should I look for now on day 8? What is the window of time I could contract it in?

Can you have a normal sex life after having herpes?


Thank you for your help Guys.

I will post the test results here when they come back.

(I had originally posted this in the STD forum, but I moved it over here)

[gracefromHHP]

At this point it's just a matter of waiting for both of you to get your test results back so that you know who has what.  Not much else you can do until then.  I can help you with the results when you get them.

I wouldn't worry all that much about you contracting it if you didn't already have it. Don't be obsessive about checking out your nether regions.

grace

[confusedkid]

Hey Grace,

So I got my news back. All my testing (including the IgM test and the IgG HSV1 and IgG HSV2),  came back within the negative range my doctor said. I am unsure of the numbers; just the doctor said it was negative.

They said that the blood test still wasn't 100% accurate, and the best way to test for it is the sample swab from symptoms if I have any. I don't know if this is true; I thought the IgG tests were pretty good.

She gets her test back today, but the doctor is pretty sure she has herpes from her examination. She has started her medication for herpes (I forget the name of it), and I guess shes slowly starting to get some relief.

Its been 10 days since I last had protected sex with her (2 short times total), and I don't have any symptoms.

What do I do? Am I in the clear? Should I be looking for anything? What are the odds of me getting it?

Do I need to go back at the 3 month mark to make sure that I don't have it, or should I assume if I don't get symptoms that I'm in the clear?

Thank you for your help,

Confusedkid

[gracefromHHP]

This is my 2 cents - why bother retesting in 3 months if you are still going to be with this gal?  now that the 2 of you are aware that she has genital herpes, if she has hsv2, discuss what precautions you want to take together. The herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com is a terrific resource for BOTH of you to get accurate info on herpes and how to reduce your risk of contracting it from her.  Consider daily suppressive therapy for her if you are both interested in it's protection after reading the handbook.  Between that and condoms as well as just avoiding sex during obvious genital symptoms you are at very low risk of contracting hsv2 from her ( it's the same odds as her getting pregnant if she was on the pill ).  Should you at some point in the relationship develop obvious lesions - then go be seen withn 24-48 hours of their appearance for a lesion culture and typing. Otherwise just consider a blood test once in a blue moon just for curiosity's sake if you two are even still worried about it at that point or if the relationship ends - get a type specific herpes igg blood test about 4 months after the last time you had sex to see what your status is before moving onto a new relationship with someone else.  

grace

[confusedkid]

Hey Grace,

Thank you for your response!

I will be sure to read the handbook.

What if I decide not to stay with the girl? (This is not due just to the HSV2, but because it was never a serious relationship on both of our parts to begin with, and it doesn't look like it will ever develop into one)

Do you think I should get tested at the 3 month mark then if I'm not sleeping with her anymore now (and haven't slept with her since she found out)? Do you think I could possibly have it now after those 2 short times protected?

Thank you for all your help and your time,

Confused Kid