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Depression Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to depression, counseling, sleep problems, and nutrition.
I lied to get Adderall and I think it'd causing depression
by bartender34, Jun 23, 2008 06:23PM
I've tried to find info on Addy's and depression but it only talks about when you're trying to stop taking it.
I am a 34 year old female. About a year ago a friend at work gave me an addy. It gave me such energy and I felt great! I immediatly find a Dr that will prescribe them to me. I lied and said I had ADD as a child and I need it for college b/c I'm having problems. Both lies. I've never had ADD in my life and didn't think he would give them to me. I was shocked when he gave me 150, 30mg to take twice a day. I don't take that much, it's way too much. I started myself taking half here and half there for energy. After a year I now start with a half but take up to 4 halves throughout the day, equals 2 a day. I work at a bar and I drink every night I work, 5-8 jagers, while on the addy. Sometimes I throw in a couple vodka/red bulls. About 3 mos ago I notice I have zero energy, cry at anyone being even slightly "mean" towards me. I slept for over 24 hrs this weekend. I don't want to work, don't want to walk my dogs, don't want to hang out with friends, don't want to shower. I don't even want to drive to the store. All I want to do is sleep and stay home. Most of my friends don't call b/c I never want to do anything. I have maybe 2 friends now that I never want to do anything with. It's like it takes too much out of me to get ready to go do anything. But sometimes I'll get ready and just sit on my couch, then call them with some dumb reason I can't make it out. I am super sensitive to bar customers I know if I feel they are "ignoring" me or don't say hi to me. I cry all the way home! If a manager says something to "reprimand" me I think he's mean and picking on me. I cry all the way home! These things NEVER used to bother me, drinking or not. I've always been a happy drunk, now I'm moody and sad. I don't drink when I don't work, so I'm not addicted to that. I've been in the bar business for 15 years and never had a problem with alcohol, besides being drunk or hungover.
I still take my addy but even with that all I want to do is sleep. It doesn't give me energy. I don't want to up my addy b/c I'm not even supposed to be taking it and don't want to give myself a heart attack or anything like that. It's like it does the opposite now. It doesn't supress my appetite, but I've never been an overeater. When I can manage to stay awake I eat like I normally would. This is so not normal for me. Everyone used to tell me I'm the happiest person they know. And that I handle things w/o emotional involvement. Very level headed. Well, not anymore!
I've been looking at depression and Atypical Depression sounds like what I have. I still get happy over things, but it's fleeting. I've also looked at what I should take for this, but there is nothing. If I knew what I should take I can get a Dr to give it to me and I can get out of this funk. I really need to get over the tiredness and sleeping. I work maybe 2 nights a week and am broke, but I just can't drag myself in most nights. It's affecting my life in a bad, bad way.
I don't understand how I've become depressed and, with the exception of my dog dying a year and a half ago, nothing has changed except this addy I started taking. My dog's death might sound silly, but I still cry over that. He was my best friend and I miss him every single day. I spent around 9 grand trying to save him. I'm a bartender so believe me I couldn't afford it, but I worked 7 days a week some weeks to get the money I would need for his treatments. He was worth every penny tho. I've never regretted that, I've spent money on **** that didn't matter, and this meant so much to me. So maybe my dog started the depression and the addy screwed up the chemicals in my brain too? But what I've read addy doesn't cause depression. And although I am sad still about my dog, why would it get this severe over a year later?
Just looking for some insight and if this sounds like depression. It sure does to me, but I've never been depressed and never dealt with it so I'm lost. I did call some psychiatrists today and w/o insurance office visits are pretty steep. 200 for first visit, 80-90 for visits that require meds, 120-150 for visits that require therapy and meds. If that's what I need I'll do it. I can't go on like this. I need to work, I need to feel like I can walk my dogs for more than 5 mins at a time, I don't want to sleep 15 hours a day, I'm tired of feeling sad. If you can suggest a med I'll see a reg Dr and it would save me much money. Thanks in advance and sorry so long.
I am a 34 year old female. About a year ago a friend at work gave me an addy. It gave me such energy and I felt great! I immediatly find a Dr that will prescribe them to me. I lied and said I had ADD as a child and I need it for college b/c I'm having problems. Both lies. I've never had ADD in my life and didn't think he would give them to me. I was shocked when he gave me 150, 30mg to take twice a day. I don't take that much, it's way too much. I started myself taking half here and half there for energy. After a year I now start with a half but take up to 4 halves throughout the day, equals 2 a day. I work at a bar and I drink every night I work, 5-8 jagers, while on the addy. Sometimes I throw in a couple vodka/red bulls. About 3 mos ago I notice I have zero energy, cry at anyone being even slightly "mean" towards me. I slept for over 24 hrs this weekend. I don't want to work, don't want to walk my dogs, don't want to hang out with friends, don't want to shower. I don't even want to drive to the store. All I want to do is sleep and stay home. Most of my friends don't call b/c I never want to do anything. I have maybe 2 friends now that I never want to do anything with. It's like it takes too much out of me to get ready to go do anything. But sometimes I'll get ready and just sit on my couch, then call them with some dumb reason I can't make it out. I am super sensitive to bar customers I know if I feel they are "ignoring" me or don't say hi to me. I cry all the way home! If a manager says something to "reprimand" me I think he's mean and picking on me. I cry all the way home! These things NEVER used to bother me, drinking or not. I've always been a happy drunk, now I'm moody and sad. I don't drink when I don't work, so I'm not addicted to that. I've been in the bar business for 15 years and never had a problem with alcohol, besides being drunk or hungover.
I still take my addy but even with that all I want to do is sleep. It doesn't give me energy. I don't want to up my addy b/c I'm not even supposed to be taking it and don't want to give myself a heart attack or anything like that. It's like it does the opposite now. It doesn't supress my appetite, but I've never been an overeater. When I can manage to stay awake I eat like I normally would. This is so not normal for me. Everyone used to tell me I'm the happiest person they know. And that I handle things w/o emotional involvement. Very level headed. Well, not anymore!
I've been looking at depression and Atypical Depression sounds like what I have. I still get happy over things, but it's fleeting. I've also looked at what I should take for this, but there is nothing. If I knew what I should take I can get a Dr to give it to me and I can get out of this funk. I really need to get over the tiredness and sleeping. I work maybe 2 nights a week and am broke, but I just can't drag myself in most nights. It's affecting my life in a bad, bad way.
I don't understand how I've become depressed and, with the exception of my dog dying a year and a half ago, nothing has changed except this addy I started taking. My dog's death might sound silly, but I still cry over that. He was my best friend and I miss him every single day. I spent around 9 grand trying to save him. I'm a bartender so believe me I couldn't afford it, but I worked 7 days a week some weeks to get the money I would need for his treatments. He was worth every penny tho. I've never regretted that, I've spent money on **** that didn't matter, and this meant so much to me. So maybe my dog started the depression and the addy screwed up the chemicals in my brain too? But what I've read addy doesn't cause depression. And although I am sad still about my dog, why would it get this severe over a year later?
Just looking for some insight and if this sounds like depression. It sure does to me, but I've never been depressed and never dealt with it so I'm lost. I did call some psychiatrists today and w/o insurance office visits are pretty steep. 200 for first visit, 80-90 for visits that require meds, 120-150 for visits that require therapy and meds. If that's what I need I'll do it. I can't go on like this. I need to work, I need to feel like I can walk my dogs for more than 5 mins at a time, I don't want to sleep 15 hours a day, I'm tired of feeling sad. If you can suggest a med I'll see a reg Dr and it would save me much money. Thanks in advance and sorry so long.
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Love Venora
I would guess that the alcohol and your lifestyle is running you down more than the adderall itself. With that said, if you do not have ADHD and are taking Adderall that can cause a problem as well.
I would highly suggest you see a psychiatrist (if you can). Maybe rather than seeing a private psychiatrist you could see one who works for a local county/state mental health agency? Cost often is based on what you can afford with local agencies. I would also suggest you try to cut the drinking down or cut it out completely and taper off the Adderall and see where that gets you.
Adderall itself should not be causing depression, so I would look into your lifestyle and see what you can change in that aspect to get yourself feeling better.