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MJIthewriter Female, 25 years MN Member since Dec 2007
Mood: MJIthewriter is being put to the test. Somehow she needs to overcome her fear of feeling rejected. Journal Entry: "I wish there was a way to just will it al..." [Read]
MJIthewriter Female, 25 years MN Member since Dec 2007
Mood: MJIthewriter is being put to the test. Somehow she needs to overcome her fear of feeling rejected. Journal Entry: "I wish there was a way to just will it al..." [Read]
is being put to the test. Somehow she needs to overco...
Anyway, the upshot of what I was saying is that I do get frustrated sometimes with professionals because they seem to be quite ridgid in their way of thinking especially around treatment plans etc. Obviously they don't have autism in their family and they don't understand like you and I do about how we ourselves have some traits of autism and probably understand our kids on a better level then they do.
Anyway that said, I really don't know what to advise. If she really doesn't like the programme then I would probably continue with the massage, and you could consider introducing something like a trampoline which would still introduce the deep muscle/bone pressure, but it would be with something she would like rather than the hugs that she doesn't like.
I'm not sure about the connnection between the treatment plan and the OCD tendencies that you mention. I wouldn't necessarily think they were OCD, I would rather put them in the category of rigid routines and behaviours about how she dresses herself.
I haven't tried these therapies on my son. An OT is assessing him now and they may suggest something in the near future. I am not sure about their approach of trying to make the child seem as 'normal' as possible. For example the OT has said that she would like to work with him to reduce the need to wear the eardefenders he has. I'm not sure what I think about that. My son is autistic. I don't want him to 'appear normal, or be taught to behave normal'. The strategies we use of eardefenders and Irelan glasses make it possible for him to tolerate environments that would normally upset him. And I don't see the point of him 'appearing' to be 'normal' because it wouldn't take long for someone to see that he wasn't. In some ways the eardefenders and glassess almost warn people that he is different and it makes them much more accommodating towards him. If I were to send him into a situation without the eardefenders and glasses then people would have certain expectations of him that he could never meet.
I think, regarding your daughter, that you will need to use the brush and compression therapy a number of times and remove it a number of times to see if, on each occasion, her 'OCD tendencies' are reduces.
You say that if you stop the therapy her sensory issues are more pronounced. Can you tell, if you haven't done the therapy, if when she is getting dressed she is not so preoccupied with the sequence (OCD behaviour), but is more preoccupied with the sensory aspect of dressing.
Your daughter is very young. Maybe you need the OT to try to explain to you again what the therapy is trying to achieve.
I have also had a number of specialists recommend that I teach my son to crawl because it helps with brain construction. This might be something else to work on.
Regarding ridgid behaviour. This is something I have noticed, but don't really understand the relevance of it. I now have my son on a GF/CF diet. I am not completely strict with it ie. once a week I allow him a favourite food regardless. But what I have noticed since starting the diet is that he is not so restricted in what he will eat. Previously his favourite food would have been a cheese sandwich and a glass of milk. He has recently began to eat salad (cabbage/carrot/parsley/lettuce etc). And tonight he tried boiled cabbage for the first time!
I think all you can do is ask the specialists for clarification of what they are attempting to achieve, and weigh that up against what you know about your child and about yourself because I think you do have a greater understanding of these difficulties than some other parents have.
I know it's hard to think you maybe doing something wrong, but your experience is as of much worth as the professionals.
I'm not against working with any child to help de-sensitize them. But don't remove their supports without replacing them with something that works as well.
The developmental therapist made a comment about the therapy. She said my daughter may have well indeed needed it 9 months ago, when her sensory issues were impacting her auditory processing ability (she couldn't even recognize her name or any words). Within a couple days of starting the therapy we noticed immediate improvements in her auditory/language processing and she was responding to her name. I guess the therapies help really young kiddos develop that part of the brain or something. Her receptive language is really good at this point and developed. She has problems with understanding questions, but she knows probably 95% of what we say and talk about. So, the developmental therapist (who also knows about these techniques because she used to use them on her son who has ADHD) said that it may be time to drop those techniques and figure out other ones. She said if my daughter likes massage, do massage instead. She felt that maybe part of the change may be that my daughter was reacting negatively to the compression/brushing since she didn't particularly like it, and I had to do it every 3 to 4 hours, so she thought maybe she was subconsciously rebelling against that ritualistic therapy thing with ritualistic behaviors of her own? Anyways, no way to tell the reason why... I'm just noting the what and not the why.
On another topic you brought up...
What are ear defenders? Are they more tolerable to wear than ear plugs? I have a lot of problems with noise. Also I've been trying to find out about tinted glasses for myself as well. People will hopefully think I'm trying to be cool with the tinted glasses. The ear defenders sound great for places like church (loud sound system), movie theaters (again really very loud sound system), shopping, get-togethers, etc. My daughter luckily doesn't have the sensitivity to sound, but she does have sensitivity to light and visual things. When she gets older, maybe I can find her some special tinted glasses. She loves her sunglasses and wears them a lot of places we go now. I think it helps her out in brightly lighted places. Also with the sun so bright and intense in the summer outside they help too.
You are right to be frustrated with therapists trying to normalize our children. We have a really cool developmental pediatrician who has been seeing our daughter since March. I wish we didn't have to move so far away that we could come back. He won't be covered on our new health insurance, so we couldn't afford him even if we did travel back. But, he told us to watch out for therapists and school systems who try to normalize her. I have had to fight with 2 out of 3 of her therapists about certain issues where they were trying to normalize her. The speech therapist didn't want me to let my daughter get so obsessed with the alphabet at 25 months (she knew the alphabet in order at 24 months and did letter recognition). At 25 months she knew the order on the computer keyboard. At 30 months she started showing reading readiness signs. I felt that if she is interested, let her learn. The speech therapist felt that no, she needs to concentrate on learning to speak before learning to read. I basically ignored her and said forget it lady. My daughter's developmental pediatrician said that was good that I ignored the therapist on that issue. Speech therapist also is into trying to break kids of rigid behaviors. My daughter does puzzles the same way every time. She orders things in her brain. Again, what normal 32 month old can do a 25 piece puzzle? My daughter can, and yeah, it's not normal, but heh, it's pretty impressive. If I tried to stop her from doing her puzzles her way, she would stop learning in her way. The speech therapist does things her way when she's here for that one hour a week, but I let my daughter do puzzles however she wants to the rest of the week. And so what if my daughter is learning to read when she can barely speak. That's pretty cool and impressive too. (My husband read by the time he turned 3, and he turned way more than just fine. My brother also was reading at age 3, and again turned out just fine even though he couldn't bounce a ball at age 8, who cares). Anyways, I know the frustration about normalcy. If I force my daughter to be normal, I know she will shut down entirely and not learn. I'd rather have a smart girl who is happy and well adjusted, even if she looks a little quirky. Oh, and the speech therapist keeps telling me that my daughter won't have friends if she isn't normal. At 2 1/2, she has a bunch of friends, well play mates, who really love playing with her. They're all boys. They play dinosaurs, run around. They totally adore my daughter. They range in age from her age to age 4. Most of them are 4, though. There is a cute little girl who is as about as normal as they come. Quite verbal. Quite normal. All the boys really dislike her, run away from her like she has cooties, and really don't like playing with her because she wants to sit down and do the little tea parties and play dolls, and do the girl things. So, okay, she probably will have a lot of female friends. But, is there anything wrong with my daughter having male friends? Boys are less verbal, more physical in play, and hate sitting around pretending tea parties. So, how can this therapist keep telling me that my daughter will have no friends when the 3 and 4 year olds every time they see me are asking to play with my daughter? I figure, let her be herself, and let her be proud of being herself and think there is nothing wrong with being herself. I think her positive self-esteem as she gets older will get her more friends than being normal will. Well, to a certain extent. Schools can be quite harsh. But, at least with a positive self-esteem, she won't care too much what others think, only what she herself thinks.
Regarding the ear defenders. You would get them from a hardware store. They protect workman against high noise levels. They look a bit like earphones. They are big and cumbersome, but they work for my son.
Also google Irlen syndrome and it will tell you about it. Many children on the spectrum have visual differences which may range from just a hypersensitivity to bright light to total visual fragmentation and visual distortions. It is also common in children with dyslexia.