im not sure what it is

[brandnew1]

My anxiety really started off with a mild case of bulimia.  I don't even really believe it was bulimia because I wouldn't really binge, only purge in an effort to get my mind off of the anxiety I was feeling over cheating on my boyfriend.  This lasted a full two years from the ages of 20-22.

I have had anxiety since I was a senior in college (21 years old).  It started only in the mornings, after I would drink alcohol.  I would wake up exactly two hours after I went to bed with a huge panic attack.  I finally was able to get over them after 3 years through cutting down my alcohol usage, depending on benzos like xanax and klonopin and seeing a therapist regularly.  While I did still get anxiety, the attacks pretty much stopped and if I felt one coming on I would take a Xanax or Klonopin.

I was diagnosed with GAD and tried SSRIs like Paxil, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Lexapro.   I did not like any of them and they made me gain weight and feel like a zombie.  I particularly had issues going off of Zoloft, even with the help of my doctor.

I moved to a new city a few weeks ago (aged 25) and I am starting to get extreme anxiety again.  I have gone through 90 1mg Klonopins since the end of April (this is a lot for me considering I only taking them on an as-needed basis and I usually break them in half).  I can't sleep (generally finally falling asleep at 2am), wake up with a terrible stomach ache and feelings like I need to use the bathroom urgently and general anxiety symptoms.  Not panic attacks but it still feels crappy.  I am not sure if the move triggered this or what.  I do not eat very much.  I drink a lot of soda, which I know is very bad for anxiety but I can't seem to stop.  I have never been a big eater, and never been an extremely healthy eater either.  Also, I am a vegetarian which tends to impede any sort of balanced nutrition for me.  I take a daily vitamin and calcium chews.  Do you think these eating things can be related?

Saturday:  1/2 a bagel and cream cheese, small bag of chips, 2 sodas.
Sunday:  2 slices of pizza, 2 sodas.

I know it is bad that I don't eat but I just never feel hungry.  I have lost 11 pounds since I moved, as well.  I actually like that I have shed some weight but I don't like the way my stomach feels when I wake up.

I don't know if anyone can help.  As I am writing this I am realizing that there's probably a lot wrong with me but I have been in therapy so much and I think I am honestly like 100x better than I was 4 years ago.

Thanks all.

[Shelley900]

Hi! I can really relate to how you feel, and I've actually lost 11 pounds too during the past couple of months!  I got beta-blockers from my GP and did start to feel a little better, but now it seems as though my appetite has gone again :( and I can only seem to eat certain foods - yoghurt, fruit and light things like that.  I reckon it is definitely a nervous thing but It's really starting to get me down! It's a relief to know that I'm not alone though as I'm probably eating a quarter of what I used to (and that is not usual for me! lol)  I also feel the same way as you in the mornings - every morning it seems to be exactly the same and I actually dread getting up as I know that it's just the beginning of feeling horrible for the majority of the day!! Hope this helps a bit! Shelley

[brandnew1]

Hey Shelley:

It does help to realize I am not alone.  What are beta-blockers exactly?  

I dread waking up as well because I know that this feeling is going to be there.  Do you have issues going to sleep too?  I stay up all night basically because I can't fall asleep.  And when my alarm goes off I just hop out.  It's kind of like I was never asleep at all.  It's so weird.  Like a surface sleep.

Why can you only eat certain foods?  Does everything else make you feel sick or do you just not like the taste of them?  Or not want them?  For me, I just don't want to eat.  No idea why.

[Shelley900]

Well, they give you beta-blockers to stop the panic attacks and they also help with anxiety - although, with me taking them now for a few weeks, I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I'm so used to them now so they're not really helping much!  I don't really seem to have issues with actually falling asleep, but I find myself wakening up nearly EVERY night at about 3-ish in the morning (sometimes worrying about things!), whereas before, once I fell asleep that was me until my alarm went off! Well, it's as if I can only eat things that are quite light on my stomach cos yeah, basically there seems to be alot of things that I just cannot stomach at the moment and I get the same as you too - I can be absolutely starving and then when I actually sit down to a meal/snack, it's as though I can't be bothered eating and sometimes I actually get scared incase I get too full and end up feeling/being sick (I really don't know where that phobia came from...)  I've been going through stomach remedies like they are sweets! Shelley

[Jikan]

Namaste,

Beta blockers are a class of drugs that block beta-adrenergic substances such as adrenaline (epinephrine), a key agent in the "sympathetic" portion of the autonomic (involuntary) nervous system which controls many important organs and tissues in the body including the heart, blood vessels, and air passages in the lung. Other uses for beta blockers include the prevention of migraine headaches, stage fright (social phobia), and the treatment of certain types of tremors (familial or hereditary essential tremors).

Your diet certainly seems to be an issue which have to get control of.

Problems with your diet and sleep can result from a multitude of issues.  I'd recommend you see a doctor as soon aas possible to rule out physiological factors.

Your symptoms may also be an indicator of depression compounded by your anxiety.

Use of a medication such as Paxil, rather than a beta-blocker or just an anti-depressant may help since Paxil does have some anti-anxiety properties as well as being an anti-depressant.

If necessary, see a mental health provider to evaluate your indivdual situation.

Michael

[nursegirl6572]

Hi there, welcome to the forum.  Please stick around...as you can gain a lot of insight from everyone here who is going through very similar situations as you are.

First, absolutely the move is prolly affecting you quite a bit!  ANY life change, good or bad....causes stress which heightens anxiety.  The good thing is...you have recognized it and have had experience with anxiety before....so you sort of know the ropes.

First thing, IMO...would be to get back with your prescribing doc to talk about trying a different approach with the medications.  Klonopin is a wonderful med for GAD, but only if dosed properly.  It is more effctive if dosed twice daily rather than prn ("as needed").  This allows the med to build up in your system and prevent panic/anxiety attacks rather than trying to take them when anxiety is already present.  Shorter acting benzos, like Ativan and Xanax more appropriate for "rescue" use (taking them when panic hits).  Sometimes both are used until the Klonopin reaches a steady state in the plasma.

Also...you said you didn't have much luck with the SSRI's....some people don't....but also a lot of people assume they don't work, b/c they fail to give them ample time to build up in the system, or they have trouble getting past the initial side effects (which usually start to subside fairly quickly, a week or two).  SSRI's can take up to 6+ weeks to really start doing their job.  If that was the case for you....you may need to try one again and give it enough time.  If you truly were not helped with an SSRI, and gave them a chance...then there are other options out there.  The older tricyclic antidepressants can be very effective, especially in people who didn't respond to SSRI's.

Sometimes beta blockers are prescribed as well....it depends on the person, the presentation of the anxiety, other co-existing conditions (like Mitral Valve Prolapse).  Again, it is another option that is sometimes prescribed for anxiety.

Anyway...I think overall, you and your doctor need to pow-wow about the meds and maybe come up with a new game plan.  There are a lot of options, and if you try one without success...you can always try something else down the line.

Also....keep the therapy going....you may even need some more aggressive therapy...as you are struggling with a variety of issues...from the eating disorder-like behavior, the new move, the anxiety...etc etc.  It doesn't seem like you've necessarily been given an official diagnosis when it comes to some of these concerns...which would also be helpful.

If you are still drinking a good bit of alcohol, it would be best to cease that as much as possible...alochol may make you feel less anxious while you're drinking....but it absolutely positively will make you  feel 300% worse after the fact....it wreaks havoc on panic/anxiety/depression.  You need to work through these issues...as you are doing a lot of things (drinking, inappropriate eating, etc)...as a way to control anxiety.  And while that is common.....it can spiral out of control if you don't start really addreessing it.

Keep in touch...let us know how things are going for you.....hang in there.

[brandnew1]

It is so odd.  I woke up again this morning feeling the same way, ugh!!  I don't feel well rested at all.  Feels like I was "fake sleeping" for the past 7 hours.  :(

Please let me know if you find a remedy that works.  :)  Good luck to you!