Ok, I did the bday party but couldn't bare the zoo...

[LoveMyKids1]

I posted earlier about the bone aches of withdrawls etc...   I couldn't manage to take the kids to the zoo.  I started having bouts of the runs (sorry for the tmi but, I'm sure you all understand) and I didn't want to be that far away from a restroom. However, I did take all the kids to a big bday party.  I just told my friend that I just wasnt feeling good- maybe a little bug or something but, was still able to chase around my 1yr old somewhat, the rest of the kids had a ball,  and we left a little early.  But all in all- It was very hard to realize how different my behavior was without the pills. I felt so uncomfortable and withdrawn.  For the most part, I am an outgoing person...very approachable but, today I just felt like I was in my own world and had NO interest in talking or socializing.  After I got home and got the kids settled all I could do was cry.  It's crazy to see things when you aren't in the opiate fog.  I'm scared to feel all of these feelings. I can't believe how different this feeling is. It's almost too raw of a feeling to deal with.  Do you think this is just the depression portion? I just keep feeling so emotional- depressed, irritated etc... Omg, its like a rollercoaster.  Anyone else? Is this normal?

[newmanagment]

wutcha goin thru is normal, and should be expected. you are puttin all your emotions back into play for real, not dullified by the drugs. i think ya did a great job jus by gettin the kids to the bday party!! i know alot here dont make it outta the house for a couple weeks!! so to make a kids bday party is a major accomplishment, trust me i know!!!  n jus look at it this way, by the time ya baby is 2 or so, mom will have her emotions back to herself, and be sober!!! how cool is that!! much love......

[NautyOne]

I agree.....I admire anyone who has to go thru the misery of withdrawal and CHILDREN....Oh, I was so pathetic.....I did virtually nothing for ....I wont even say how long.....however, that may have been a downfall for me.......I am humbled by all the Mommy's that make it thru this.......Don't feel bad, be proud of yourself !!

luv,
Nauty.........

[wannabefree330]

Just being able to get all the kids ready as well as yourself for such an adventure is a huge hurdle in itself!!  You should be REALLY proud of yourself for the commitment you have to your kids and getting sober.  The emotional rollercoaster.....ahh yes!....It is horrible.  Your own brain has pretty much stopped producing any of the natural endorphins it would normally create because it has had you supplementing them for some time now with the drugs.  I know it is hard, but just give yourself time, and your brain time to start reproducing these chemicals naturally.  It will happen! Promise.  It just takes time, and how long?.....it's different for everyone but I am pretty sure since you have children, you will be forced into some type of physical activity every day.  Even if it's giving them all a bath!  Over the next few weeks, you will see improvement.  But, you could be having a fantastic day 3 months from now, and all of a sudden be overcome with feelings and start bawling.  Just let it happen.....it's ok. Cry and get it out.  Allow yourself to FEEL and experience what those nasty drugs have been covering up.

You will get back to being your happy, go get them - self.  Not overnight.  In fact it may be a few months before you are feeling REALLY good.  Just keep going, and day by day you will experience new emotions, new aches and pains, but it's one step closer to being the person you want to be, and your kids and YOU deserve that.  Hang in there!

[untwisting]

I'm so proud of you! The flood of emotions is so normal. It's o.k. to hide in the bathroom and cry (my water bill was horrible the first month :)  ).  Everything feels raw at first - and that's 'cause you haven't felt these in a while. It'll calm down - but it does take a while - and you do have to figure out what you're feeling and why. The book I mentioned in my pm to you really helped me "A Woman's Self". Some of the pages were like I had dictated them myself. Hang in - we're all here for you and have been where you are!

[misterkangfish]

Good for you!!! You must be very strong. I know when I'm in bad w/ds I could NOT have done it without taking something. Be very proud of yourself and hang in there! You are great! Peace - John

[untwisting]

quick update - I got the title of the book wrong. It's  "A Search for Self". Didn't want anybody looking for the wrong thing. sorry all