Attracted to another man

[Starchild80]

Hi,
My family and I started attending this church over a year ago. and I notice this man watching me all the time. I try to ignore the man. However, one day we were close enough where I can look at him in the eye and I notice there was a physical attraction between the both of us. I have try to avoid him and I get the feeling he tries to avoid me. I notice him looking at me at times and I him and I know it wrong should I change my membership because I know I have a lot to lose besides my reputation my family and my walk with christ I need some advice on fighting temptation.

[didittomyself2]

stay away from him by all means...i mean a friendship ok but from the sounds of it you are already think there is more there...
the grass isn't greener on the other side...

[SeriousSam]

Go to a different church.  Your just playing with fire.

[teko]

It is very hard for one to avoid that magnetism. Look for another church while you still have the mental insight to do so.  It will ruin your marriage and tear your family apart, and in the end is not flattering at all. Red Flag

[RockRose]

Does everyone on this forum not feel this way a LOT?  This happens to me regularly,  and you just ignore it.  You sense someone is very attracted to you,  they kind of get flustered and blush when you are around,  they look at you,  and you feel the same way.  Both of you just walk away.  No big deal.  And the next time you see him in church,  you just walk away again.

You aren't going to be stripping and doing the deed in the church aisle.  Keep your relationship formal and you won't betray your faith and your family.

[katarina777]

RockRose is right. Do not be afraid of those feelings. Enjoy them, instead. I have those feelings and attractions with many men, and you don't need to do anything about them. those feelings make life worth living, and you are not cheating, or going against God. it is sometimes hard when those feelings are very strong, but you will not act on them. That will destroy everything. Do not, though, run away from those feelings. They can happen anywhere and do not see them as a negative. They are life force. They tell you you are alive.

[Starchild80]

Thank You, I really like my church home, and I feel like this is something that can go away with time. I do not wish for the ministry to get involve in a scandle. I thank you for your advice I will ignore the physical attraction until it just totally disappear.
Starchild80

[katarina777]

but don't fight the feelings, it will make them worse. Accept them and then you can let go. You are OK, really. Kat

[mayflowers]

I have this happen to me a lot.  A few times, guys have followed me out of stores or they start a conversation while I'm waiting for someone (like my boyfriend) at a restaurant.  One guy pulled up to my car in a parking lot and told me I was one of the prettiest girls he's ever seen!  I'm friggin in my late 40's people!!!

My boyfriend tells me that I look like the girl next door with a great figure so men find me approachable.  I am definitely don't have a model face but I have a nice smile and green eyes with dark hair.  I look like I'm in my 30's.  I guess it's unusual.  Anyway, I care too much about my boyfriend and our relationship to screw it up.   The point is, until you are dead, you will probably find yourself attracted to other people and people attracted to you.  You just walk away like the other posters have recommended.  It's just physical, it's nothing else.  

Good luck.

[katarina777]

I sometimes envy those women in the Middle East and Turkey who have their heads and faces covered. They can look out but others can't look in and so they don't have to worry about revealing their thoughts and feelings.  This sometimes makes the men paranoid, actually. (I am only halfway serious, of course)

[extrmeski]

Hit it head on, maybe if you talk to the guy you will find out that you have nothing in common.  Attraction is just a part of life, it happens and most of it is fantasy built up in your mind.  It's all physical of course and its what make the world go around.  Don't change your life around because of it, that is just crazy.

[BearHitch]

I agree that attraction is a part of life, and I don't know that I would stop going to my church just to avoid him.  I would not even entertain the idea of being friends because you have already acknowledged the attraction between you.  Just avoid him.  On another note, while it is one thing to be attracted to someone and that is it, it is another line when you start fantasizing and things like that.  Be careful with that as it is sinning against your husband and God.  I congratulate you on not having this be a post of "I cheated on my husband, was that wrong?"  Those get old  :)  

Good luck.

[teko]

When you say my family, I am assuming you mean your husband and children. How you handle this situation would depend on your vulnerability to it.  If you are happy in your relationship overall and feel strong in it, then you can handle it by remaining in the church and not doing anything to esculate the situation. However, if you have problems in your marriage or going thru a period of feeling unfulfilled or if you are feeling like this is a vulnerable situation that you might not have the strength to not act on or encourage, or if you are feeling in need of a self image boost leaving you more succeptable to succombing to it, then you need to handle it in a more aggressive way. So, even tho the situation may be a normal one, it depends on where one is emotionally, as to how it should be handled. The clear eye calls it what it is and knows how it should be handled. The emotional eye sometimes fogs our judgement and gets us into trouble we do not need. Good luck, either way. Only you know for sure how you need to handle it.

[treazzure007]

you cant run from attraction.  you would simply go to another church and see another good looking man.  just get over it, stop looking at him, or when you see him staring hard at you again, hold your man and give him the sweetest hug and kiss, walk holding hands, and be loveydovey.  he'll lose interest