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Maternal & Child Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to breast feeding, childhood disease, colic, child discipline, immunization, lactation, newborn care, post partum depression, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), and special needs children.
okay i am pregnant and my husband is not ready
by brianswife133, Jul 11, 2008 08:40PM
my husband is not ready for a baby and hes changed his mind a few times but we had gotten into another arguement because of someone he knows and now he dont want it again but said the next one we can keep i was wondering if anyone knew how to have a miscarriage because i dont want to lose him and if i have it i will lose him and end up living on the base and working and having to put the baby and my other kids in daycare while i work so can someone please help me out with this big circumstances that i have going on thank you
Second, I would be more concerned about an innocent baby than a man who obviously doesn't care about you. If the did, he wouldn't give you an ultimatum like this. The baby or HIM? Sorry, but I'd pick the baby.
Even if you don't KEEP the baby, put it up for adoption. That way you can still keep your lovable man, he doesn't have to take responsibility for his actions AND you can help someone who would do anything to have a child.
Honestly, I think anyone who would TRY to miscarry a child on purpose must be very self centered. You aren't thinking about anyone but yourself and your relationship with a man who needs mental help for requesting that you don't have this baby "just because he isn't ready". Too bad...if he wasn't ready, he should have used protection. And you should have been on the pill. And don't give me that "I was one of the 1% who got pregnant on the pill" line. He could have used a condom and that would have helped prevent the inevitable, too.
Anyone who doesn't want a baby should do everything in their power to prevent it.
And for him to pick and choose "oh, we'll keep the next one" like it's a puppy that you decided after a few days that you didn't want and figure you'll take it back to the pet store. Life isn't like that. Not when it comes to babies.
For all you know, there may not be a next time. And by the sounds of it, it may be for the best.
Sorry if this sounds crude, but when you post something ridiculous like this, you have to expect answers that you don't like.
Your husband needs to grow up big time! He has a family and responsibilities now. He's acting like a teenager.
Did you say base? I'm assuming then that he's military? I'd think that would have made him grow up. If it's true that he's military then he's got free health insurance and a steady paycheck. Yeah, it might be a little harder. Money might be a bit tighter but deal with it! Make adjustments to make it work. Others in worse positions than you all made it work. This isn't a plaything that you all can play with and then put down when you're tired of it. So what if you have to live on base and put the child in daycare? You wouldn't be the first. Is there some reason you can't work? And what's wrong with living on base? My husband was military for 22 years and we lived on base for most of that time. It really helps with living costs. Are you too proud to live on base? I actually liked living on base. I felt a little safer since most have guards and check ID's going in and out.
Look, this child didn't ask to be created! It is depending on you! So buck it up and take care of your responsibilities.
Sorry if I'm coming across as a little harsh but this really is upsetting. I've seen teenagers act more mature than this. At least give this child to someone who would really want it and take care of it. You guys are being terribly selfish. It just breaks my heart.
Try to put someone else's needs above your own. Try to do the unselfish thing here. Can you do that? You can't just think of yourself or even your husband right now. You need to think of this innocent life. Please do the right thing. Put the child first.
If this guy is in the MILITARY and KNOWS he should be taking something for Bipolar disorder, that is VERY frightening. It's scary to know that someone like that is in our military, a ticking time bomb who could turn on his own comrades, or possibly be the next one in line to murder his pregnant wife/girlfriend like the last two guys did in NC.
So sad that we have people like that wasting away our tax dollars. You'd think the military would teach them discipline and to be MORE responsible for their actions.