Wife discloses herpes.

[jaglass]

My wife of 4 years just informed me she has herpes.  She had a sore/lesion and went to have it checked.  They told her it was herpes.  I asked her why she never told me this.  She said she had an outbreak 12 years ago (her first) and it had never reappeared.  So she believed she no longer had herpes!  My mind is racing between thoughts of a less than honest partner to what risks do I have?  Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks.

[gracefromHHP]

Unless you have other reasons to suspect that  your wife is lying to you - I wouldn't assume she was.  12 years ago probably no one really took the time to explain genital herpes to her and just pretty much sent her out the door after they diagnosed her.  She hasn't been having any recurrences that she's been aware of so I'm sure it really did just slip her mind and she figured it was gone.  Since obviously it hasn't been on her mind - no reason for her and her doctor to still be talking about it at this point either for her to get better info than she got.

First off she needs to find out if she has hsv1 or hsv2 genitally.  Chances are good that she never had her original ob typed and it was just assumed it was hsv2 because it was below the belt. If she truly hasn' t been having many recurrences ( some folks just really don't have them, others just don't recognize the signs of mild recurrences as being due to herpes ) then it very well could be hsv1 genitally.  Once you know what type she has you too will need to get a type specific herpes igg blood test to see what your own status is. Once you know who has what in your relationship you can decide what precautions, if any , to take .

I encourage you to read the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com as well as share it with your wife. You can even print it out for free if you don't like reading a computer screen. It will give you both a heck of a lot of info on herpes as well as how to reduce your risk if you don't have the same type she has.  

Feel free to ask any other questions you have. If you need help with your test results or hers - just continue to post to this thread for easy reference for our replies :)

grace