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Alcoholism Community
This community is for questions and support for people with, or for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit. The forum covers topics ranging from Health Issues, How to Quit, Reasons to Quit, Relapse Prevention, Friend and Family Support.
alternatives to AA
by mamaboulet, Jul 15, 2008 06:22PM
I am an atheist and a nonsmoker. Everything I've read about AA indicates higher powers and lots of smoke. The thought of "higher powers" and smoke-filled rooms turns me completely off. I don't believe in higher powers and refuse to subject my lungs to cigarette smoke. What are some of the other rehab alternatives? I have finally accepted the fact that I am a "problem drinker" and need to do something about it. My maternal grandmother was an alcoholic. My maternal aunt died from alcoholism. My mother has periodically had over-drinking problems. As have I. I quit drinking for 4 months last winter and ended up drinking more when I quit quitting. I need some kind of support for quitting that doesn't involve religion or high cost (I have Blue Shield).
I'm at that crossroad of trying to decide if I'm stuck with no alcohol forever or whether I can relearn to drink sensibly. I suspect I'm stuck quitting. Alcoholism seems to strike later in life in my family. Grandma was at least in her 40's, as was mom, and me when I started drinking too much. Aunt started in her thirties.
I'm at that crossroad of trying to decide if I'm stuck with no alcohol forever or whether I can relearn to drink sensibly. I suspect I'm stuck quitting. Alcoholism seems to strike later in life in my family. Grandma was at least in her 40's, as was mom, and me when I started drinking too much. Aunt started in her thirties.
IT WAS OCTOBER 1998, MY 23 YEAR OLD SISTER AND HER BOYFRIEND WENT TO A WINE TASTING PARTY...
HER BOYFRIEND WAS AN ALCOHOLIC, WHO JUST HAPPENED TO WORK FOR A LIQUOR COMPANY, NICE COMBINATION...
HE LOVED FAST CARS AND ALCOHOL...
THEY LEFT THE PARTY, STOPPED AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE, DRANK A BOTTLE OF WINE, AND HIT THE ROAD, HEADING HOME...
HER BOYFRIEND HAD A FAST MUSTANG, IT WAS A CLEAR FALL NIGHT...
MY SISTER THOUGHT AS LONG AS SHE WAS IN THE CAR, HE WOULD STAY IN CONTROL, BUT HE DIDN'T...
THEY ARE ON A COUNTRY ROAD, AND HE IS SPEEDING HEADING FOR THE CREST OF A HILL BEHIND ANOTHER CAR...
HE DECIDES TO PASS THE CAR IN FRONT, SPEEDING UP AT AN INCREDIBLE RATE OF SPEED...
AT THE CREST OF THE HILL, WHAT HE DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT THERE IS A HIDDEN DRIVEWAY JUST OVER THE HILL, AND THE CAR TO THAT HOUSE HAS NOW PULLED OUT INTO HIS LANE...
WHEN HE HITS THE CREST OF THE HILL, HE REALIZES HE HAS NOWHERE TO GO, TRIES TO SLOW DOWN, BUT NOW HE LOSES CONTROL OF THE CAR...
IT LEAVES THE ROAD GOING ABOUT 100MPH, HITS A DITCH, THEN THE CAR IS THROWN INTO THE AIR AND BEGINS ROLLING OVER AND OVER, UNTIL IT WRAPS ITSELP AROUND A TREE, ON MY SISTER'S SIDE OF THE CAR...
WHERE SHE WAS SITTING, THERE IS NOW NO SEAT, JUST THE TREE, AND SHE IS JAMMED UNDERNEATH THE DASHBOARD, CRUSHED TOTALLY FROM THE WAIST DOWN, WITH MASSIVE HEAD INJURIES...
HER BOYFRIEND CRAWLS OUT THE BACK WINDOW OF THE CAR, AND IS IN CRITICAL CONDITION...
OVER FIFTY VOLUNTEERS, PARAMEDCIS, DOCTORS, AMBULANCES AND A HELICOPTER ARE NOW ON THE SCENE...
MY SISTER'S RIGHT LEG IS ALMOST TOTALLY SEVERED AT THE KNEE, AND THE REST OF HER LEG SO INTWINED WITH METAL, THAT AFTER TWO AND ONE HALF HOURS, THE DOCTORS CUT HER LEG OFF AT THE HIP AND SHE GOES INTO A COMA...
WHILE THEY ARE AT THE SCENE, SHE IS LOSING BLOOD SO FAST, THAT THEY CAN'T KEEP REPLACING IT FAST ENOUGH...
THE HELICOPTER RUSHES HER TO A HOSPITAL, SHE DIES A HALF HOUR LATER...
HER BOYFRIEND LIVES AND RECOVERS...
OUR FAMILY HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME SINCE THAT NIGHT...
HERE'S MY POINT, YOU HAVE A CHOICE TO GET ALCOHOL UNDER CONTROL AND LIVE, OR DRINK AND MAYBE END UP LIKE MY SISTER...
SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL, JUST STARTING OUT IN LIFE, EVERYTHING GOING FOR HER...
PLEASE, PLEASE, MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE...
SHE DIDN'T...
I HAVEN'T BEEN TO HER GRAVE SINCE WE BURIED HER, IT'S JUST TOO PAINFUL..
I KEEP HER ALIVE IN MY HEART AND MY MEMORIES...
IF THIS STORY CAN HELP YOU OR ANYONE ELSE, IT'S WORTH THE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE...
not to make light of any of this, but when i saw that it made a lot of sense. i guess it all comes down to how badly we want to stay sober, without reservations. if i could still get wasted and cause no apparent harm to myself and others, i'd most likely still be playing around with it.
also to reiterate, i can't speak other locations, but here in the "tobacco capital" of the u.s. (n. carolina), it's hard to find smoking meetings anymore. and aa is not a religious program. it draws from principles found in most religions such as self-appraisal, honesty and unselfishness but does not require anyone to adhere to any dogmatic religious beliefs.
finally, another quick true story.
a local man, who was well known in the community as a problem drinker, frequently got arrested for being drunk and disorderly. as his consumption of booze progressed, he found himself in the county jail more often after offending other people. most of these incidents he would be unable to recall after sobering up. it was no big deal as he would simply be allowed to "sleep it off" in a cell and be released the next morning.
one morning, after awakening from one of these escapades, he called out to the deputy to let him out so he could go home. the officer walked up to the cell and with some reservation replied.
"you're not going anywhere. you killed someone last night". it was then that the man realized his life would never be the same, because of something he did in a blackout.
that could have been me, and still can be if i choose to disregard the fact that i can't safely ingest alcohol or any other fast acting psychotropic drugs.
best wishes to you all, gm
after all was said and done, the boyfriend finally moved out of state because he could not live with the guilt... but you can't run from yourself, you just take it with you...
i was my sister's oldest sister, i helped pick out the coffin, the grave stone, ect...
she died, i had a nervous breakdown, dad could barely keep it together, his baby was dead...
this wasn't just a story on the local news, in the newspaper, it was real, it was life, it happened...
nothing is worth that junk about just one more drink, i wrestled with that demon, but pulled myself together, threw out the bottles, and walked away never looking back...
thanks for careing...
if you want to take this story i have shared with all who read it, and share it with your group go right ahead...
i wrestled my demons and won, and anyone, anyone, who truly wants to, can...
it all comes down to choices, not excuses, choices...
the world is full of choices, and i've made mine...
i am taking the tragidies from my life and trying to share them with others so that it may help someone, anyone, maybe just one person even... then, it's worth it...
mama says she is an atheist, well this is where i state my case, i am a christian, just trying to help people...
you go girl!!!
My history: went through a two week drinking binge when I was 19. Quit alcohol the first time then until I was maybe 24. Then many years of occasional drinking, mostly wine. As I approached my 40's my amount crept up. In my mid 40's I started being able to finish a bottle of wine by myself, occasionally got completely smashed on tequila and had a couple of blackouts. I quit wine and all hard alcohol, and switched to beer. Started slow, with one beer. Stayed on a strict 2 beer limit for a couple of years (I'm one of those people who counts drinks at parties and bars) and then edged up to three. This last winter I decided that I was drinking too much so I quit for about 3 months. When I started again, I started at 3 beers, and now drink 3 beers every day with many days it being 4 beers. So here I am. That is too much for a 5'2" woman to consume every day. I'm definitely losing control and can no longer CHOOSE to drink one, two, or three beers.
The good part is that I never drink and drive, nor do I get into a car with somebody who has been drinking.
i drank gin straight from the bottle as soon as i woke up straight through the day until the night when i would just pass out, then do the whole thing over again the next day, and the next...
finally, oneday in a drunken stupor, i staggered to my dresser, and looked myself in the mirror, with pains in my liver so bad that i knew that this was it, either i stop the drinking and live, or continue and die...
i chose to live...
you can do this...
i was only 5"1 and weighed 108lbs...
it won't be easy, life just isn't like that, but you can do it...
i can be around people who drink, and it doesn't bother me at all, because i laid that down along time ago, and never looked back...
good luck...
i work with the elderly and it is so wonderful, yet heartbreaking, because the average time span i have with them ranges 2-3 years...
you learn to help them, laugh with them, cry with them, cry as they leave this world but know that your life is so much more enriched by having been touched by theirs...
alot of hurting people are out there in this world, but i'm going to take it one person at a time...
cyberhug 2u
But, hey - don't lie to yourself - you are not a staunch nonsmoker if you smoke pot, dear!
It ruins your lungs