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obsessions
by genix, Jul 17, 2008 01:53AM
i have for years had really ****** up thoughs, and they are all the opposite of the person i am, whats worse is i have them when im most calm, for instance ill be listening to someone talk to me, and an impulse will shoot into my brain and say **** like your a fuckwit, ******* wanker or something that is the exact opposite of what im thinking, ill be talking to my girlfriend and really scary **** just shoots into my brain like violent thoughts, everything is the opposite of what i actually feel its really offensive to me, for years it stressed the **** out of me, now i just tell myself its just a thought ignore it. It wasnt untill one day i looked at this baby and though what a dear little thing then the thought ( i prefer the term impulse ) flew into my head to hurt it, it scared the **** out of me, everything is the oposite of what i believe in. I dont worry about it so much now, but im so ******* anxious all the time even though i dont care about the impulses anymore. Doctor told me i have ocd with primary obsessions. Its the anxiety that has led me to a life of self medication though. Is this normal for OCD ?
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i was diagnosed with depression, ocd and anxiety in 2005 and only now am trying to get off zoloft. difficult as anything,. did you mean the self-medication being normal? or the huge amount of anxiety being normal? because the latter goes handin hand with anxiety, i'm pretty sure. it just spins the thoughts on and on. like a round about. if ur anxiety is a product of chemical imbalances (e.g. serotonin) then medication is perfectly normal .to counter the anxiety (if chemically charged) then using medication is pretty normal. and u cant counter ocd without first countering the anxiety. hmm... im writing to u mainly because god, i know where you are man. and its ******.
it has really worried me before even though they are the opposite of the person i really am