Normal development for 20 month old who was "born asleep?"

[softballmom22]

My sister-in-law chose to have a home birth, giving birth to a 9+ lb baby who was "born asleep" according to the midwife.  My niece is now 20 months old and has just barely started walking.  She is very unstable and when she falls, she is unable to get up on her own.  She also shows speech delays--her receptive language seems okay--she can respond to simple requests such as point to your nose, eyes, etc.  However, she seems very limited in her expressive language.  I believe she can say Mama and Dada but that's all I've heard her say.  I was with her the other day for 2 hours and she only grunted.  She also seems slow and out of it.  She is slow to respond and slow with her reactions.  Her babysitter and my husband's whole family see problems with this child but my sister-in-law isn't interested in hearing about it.  She is a beautiful, happy baby and we are unsure of whether or not to sit my sister-in-law down and really discuss this with her.  She is now pregnant with child #2 and intends to have another home birth.  I am quite concerned that she is doing more damage than good by having a baby this way after looking at the lack of progress from child #1.  I am a former Kindergarten teacher so I know that there are early intervention programs that she can take advantage of but I don't want to alienate my sister-in-law by bringing up an issue if it really isn't an issue at all.  However, I feel the need to be an advocate for my niece.
Thanks!
Concerned Aunt

[RockRose]

"Born asleep".  That's a euphamism for born dead,  softballmom.  Like,  a miscarriage.

I am really into midwives and natural childbirth,  but strongly believe all these services need to be offered within a full service hospital.  Awful things can happen at the very latest moment that cause lilfelong trauma.  

Does your sister in law have a husband?  I can't imagine putting yet another baby at risk for whatever the birth trauma was that your niece went through.  This is really almost worth a call to CPS if the family can't gather and insist she seek help both for the child,  and a medical facility for her second baby's birth,  considering the problem with the first baby.

Best wishes.

[softballmom22]

I looked up "born asleep" right after I heard that because it sounded fishy and was astounded to see that it meant born dead!!  I asked 2 ob/gyns and a MD about the "born asleep" thing and they both said BALONEY!!!  I can't believe my sister-in-law is just that stupid!!  All I can say is my sister-in-law is immature and has been corrupted by her husband's "hippie" family.  His sister and sister-in-law have done the home birth thing with their babies too and they just think it's the greatest. I'm all for a mother choosing her own birth plan, but for gosh sake's, why can't she do it in a hospital?!?!  My husband is so upset because he's worried that something will not only happen to the baby, but to his sister as well.  
Right now, we're trying to figure out the best way to sit her down and talk to her about it.  She's just so oblivious, and obviously in denial about her child's progress.  
Thanks for your comment!