my world is falling apart

[melbatoast64]

My boyfriend is the most important thing in my life. We bought a house together, and we've lived in it for 1 year. (He's pretty much ready to propose) Recently, I have come to find out that all his friends and family got together and asked one of them to speak to him about how f'ed up I : the depression, the meds, the alcohol and drug abuse (all things I have been working on for the last three years)...Pretty much, I'm getting the impression that the general consensus is that his friends and family don't want him to marry me because of my "baggage" I'm so depressed right now. My antidepressants aren't doing a thing. I can't get out of bed. I'm having suicidal thoughts. Someone please help!

[LLFgirl]

Please don't hurt yourself. Your life is worth living and you are very precious to God and to the people that care about you. I would suggest talking to a close friend or family member that you trust about how you feel. You just need a friend to help you through this. If the guy doesn't want to marry you because he thinks that you have to much baggage then he's probably not worth marrying anyway. The guy must love you for who you are when you are at your best and when you are at your worst; otherwise, you will have a very difficult marriage. Your life is valuable and I'm glad that you are trying to work on your issues even if the guy doesn't see it.
Regards,
LLF

[TxAlone]

I am in the same boat but different circumstances.  What if you don't have anyone to talk to that will help you through this.  My feeling is that nobody cares.

[melbatoast64]

He knows he wants to marry me, but there's just gonna to be that little tension/hatred our whole lives, i guess. Thank you for the response :)

[LLFgirl]

Well, I you could find support here in this online community. Also, talk to God about how you feel. He cares and will listen. Keep talking it out here online and with the Lord. Maybe God will send someone your way to talk to. I hope this helps.

[bell24]

there are lots of help lines out there to help if your suicidal,and us to talk to, we will listen ,you can spill your guts out and we will listen if nothing else,i think just for someone to listen you know your a real person ,take care bell.

[MJIthewriter]

Seriously please call a suicide hotline:
1800-273-talk (8255)

YOUR LIFE IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR!!!!
http://www.actionext.com/names_c/church_of_rhythm_lyrics/life_is_worth_fighting_for.html

This song comes to mind at various times I feel really down.
I also like this one:
http://www.actionext.com/names_c/church_of_rhythm_lyrics/matter_of_time.html

[MJIthewriter]

If anyone knows a better hotline feel free to post it. The one I mentioned was the on we found in our phone book.

As far as the drug/alcohol problem goes, that adds another layer of struggles but there are kind helpful supportive people here if you look up the substance abuse and alcohol forums.

[MJIthewriter]

addiction substances:
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/show/77
alcohol:
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/show/158

I strongly recommend you visit one or both forums and talk about your drug/alcohol concerns before giving up with your life. Getting help such as a counselor or therapist would be a good step. Look for someone nonjudgmental who is willing to give you honest advice and support.

[melbatoast64]

Hello everyone. I am much better this week. I almost didn't feel like myself last week. I went on Lexapro two months ago, and I added Wellbutrin to my regimen last week...after reading a lot about wellbutrin, I came to find that the first week or so of taking it can increase suicidal thoughts. I feel much better now. Thank you to everyone for your help!

[MJIthewriter]

I'm glad to read the positive update. You cvan keep the links I posted for refrence.

[Snake_Plissken]

Send him to therapy.  He needs it more than you do.

[melbatoast64]

Lol...that made my day. Thank you, and you're probably right.