Smokers

[KStarr07]

This is OT but, I was wondering how protective you guys are of your baby from smoke/smokers. It is OBVIOUSLY in everyone's best interest to keep them from the smoke itself, but what about the people who smoke? Sorry in advance for how long this is...
What I mean is, my mom smokes and I've smelled her hands before it's awful. After she smokes a ciggarette her hands smell like she just sat them in an ashtray for an hour.. So one time I asked her to wash her hands before she held Riley and she gave me attitude about it. The past two times he spent time upstairs in her room he came down with him or his stuff smelling like smoke. I know she doesn't smoke AROUND him,  but that doesn't mean he isn't exposed to it from her hands/clothes etc. And quite frankly, I think it just smells nasty! I really do appreciate when she will take him for just a few hours when I'm in desperate need of sleep or not feeling well but I'm getting tired of this! I thanked her and told her "but he smells like smoke again..." she just got an attitude again and told me stop bringing him up there is the only thing she can tell me and that she doesn't smoke around him.
She adores him and I really don't want to do that but is it the only way to get my point across? Am I wrong or being overly dramatic or what? Opinions greatly appreciated.

[casandbaby]

I'm very protective of my son and keeping him from smoke, My hubby chain smokes at work. He is a truck driver so he's just sitting in it all day. When he gets home I have him brush his teeth, shower, and obviously change clothes all before he can hold our son. I also have other family members wash their hands before they hold him. I wish they would change their clothes and such before but can't really ask that of them. But most of them smoke outside anyways. I even have him have a smoking jacket outside that he keeps outside and must wear while smoking. This alone is helping him quit =] I may be a little over dramatic but I don't want him to inhale that ****, and smell like smoke yuck. He also has an inhaler granted he hasn't used it in months but he has one. And us taking these precautions has made that possible I think i'm sure some will disagree.

I don't think your NOT wrong or overly dramatic. He's your son and she should respect your wishes and decisions. I've never smoked in my life and I can barely breath when i'm around it so just imagine how hard it is for him, and smoke stays in clothes and all that stuff that is burned and what not sticks to everything and it lingers. At least your not asking her to change her lifestyle just to wash her hands. it's not to much to ask.

Does she smoke in her room? Maybe you can get an air purifer or something like that to have on when he's in her room?

[cantwait4baby]

NO WAY!  First of all - even when people dont smoke I would have hand sanitizer before they held my baby.  Now my baby is older and does not really get held by anyone so I dont have to worry about that BUT smoking was always a no no.  I dont even let anyone smoke in front of my house I make them go into the street.  

My dd had a few emergency visits and the first question that gets asked is if anyone smokes around her?  There is a reason why they ask this.  Now Yes, my mom smoked and there are pictures of her holding me with a cig in her mouth but come on that was a long time ago and times have changed.  I would never allow anyone to smoke around my dd.  I am blunt about it to if I am walking down the street and someone walking in front of me - a stranger is smoking.  I say excuse me can I get in front of you.  SMOKE!  and they always are nice about it.  Everyone shoudl understand.  Your son's little lungs are growing and that is not good for him

[deanne11]

Very Protective!!!  

My father has been a smoker from as long as I remember and he always leaves the house when my kids are around...not even a different room....but totally leaves the house.

I also make it a point to remove my kids from people who are smoking close by...strangers.

Asthma is nothing to joke about....watching your 1 yr old have a asthma attack is not pretty....

Do everything you can to prevent it.

[deanne11]

I'm actually surprise that his Grandma still smokes in the house at all....now that we know about what smoking and second hand smoke can do to anyone at any age.

I know how over reactive my family is and I have 3 smokers in my family....all just take a walk or go outdoors....even in the freezing winter to avoid anyone else being exposed to  the second hand smoke

[cantwait4baby]

my dd has asthma too - it is not fun.  The doctor said when I hear her wheeze it means that she feels like she is breathing through a straw and if someone ever dared to make the straw filled with smoke I would turn into that crazy mom again.

PS.  my mom quit when I became pregnant - one of the things that helped her was that she knew I would not allow her to babysit if she still smoked.  Even if she did not do it around her.  Now I do think she sneaks one here and there but she would never dare do it around dd.  Actually at this point with dd going through her terrible 2's a year early she may start again. hahaha Just Kidding.

My grandmother died of lung cancer - 10 years after she quit smoking from smoking.  For your mom's health try to get her to quit too.

[KStarr07]

I have tried all my life. She says she wants to lose weight first and get healthy THEN quit.. I even gave her all the pamphlets from the hospital about quitting and why not to smoke.. Even the one with the little baby smoking a ciggarette.. She still gives me rotten attitude about it. i think the only way to get my point across is to not take him up there anymore (she stays in her room basically all day) And if she were to come to see him, have a bottle of hand sanitizer ready and just ask her nicely and tell her that I'm serious about this and do not feel I am being "ridiculous".

They wouldn't understand, (mom and sister) being smokers themselves.. how disgusting I find it.. And how badly it truly does smell. My grandma took the time to wash her hands and asked me once if her hands smelled like smoke (They burnt my nose and made me wanna gag, so I'd say.. She smokes strong menthol ciggarettes.)

I do NOT want my baby to have to smell that or be exposed to the chemicals lingering on their hands. The smell will also give you a headache if you're around it enough. It does to me, anyway. I may make an exception with the clothes thing, because I will take what I can get and don't want to make her change her clothes everytime she wants to see Riley. But the hands/arms just have to be clean..

[babyscience]

Yeah I would just ask her to wash her hands before holding....chances are they will still smell like smoke afterwards, but it is a start to let her know you are serious.  Smokers get very offended over things, so that is rough.  My grandma quit smoking after 40 years...not because any of her family asked her 5 million times, but because she now has COPD and thought she was dying.  It is also difficult because you live under your moms roof, so you cant deny access to your child or tell her not to smoke in the house because it is her house.  So I would just start with the little things and work your way up from there.

[girlybuff]

N one is allowed to smoke in my home.  When my 2 year old was first born and up until about 1 and a half, anyone who smoked had to wash their hands and face, especially lips if they wanted to touch or kiss her and they also had to either change their shirt or wear one of my  designated "smoking robes or jackets".
I have relaxed a bit but inthe beginning I find it extremely important.  Tobacco smoke sticks to everything especially fabrics.
Just an idea but I kept those hand sanitizer things that you don'tneed water for all around the house.

[JOYJOY123]

hey girl....i AM a smoker and i do not take offense if people ask me to wash my hands when i hold their child....often i do it anyways out of courtesy. i should be more protective of my son around smokers, but my whole family smokes, so it is pretty much impossible to keep him away from it. but, i do make people aware that i smoke if they are bringing their kids over. we have a "smoke room" in our house and that is where we smoke, or we go outside. when the baby is in bed we will occasionally smoke elsewhere in the house.

i think if you approach it stearnly, dont let up, she will get the picture. remember, Riley is YOUR child and you do have a say in what he is exposed to!!! xoxo