Wow

[sab805]

Wow. Did not excpect to be excoriated by you all. I may not be dealing with addiction first hand, but I am dealing with it from the other side. I read all of your posts and have gleaned much...that is absolutely true. I do and have learned from others and I ask all of you to afford me the same understanding that you desire. I feel it very helpful to see the situation from all percpectives as the truth is somewhere in the middle.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Like I said, give all of us some time. There are some wonderful people that make up this forum. Once they see you want and need help too. They will come running to help you.

[cattalina]

It is very helpful to see both sides... however you pinched a nerve for many of us.  But regardless, you are absolutely entitled to feel however you feel.  I'm glad you stayed around!  If I can help at all please let me know.  

[FriaryGrad]

I'm glad you stayed around.  Did we have any luck convincing you that we really share your opinions of how selfish addicts are when they're using drugs?  And deceitful, too. But underneath we're just people with a problem.  It's not easy being involved with an addict; I hope you learn enough to make a wise decision about staying in the relationship, or cutting your losses now. You're a great person to come back. We'll listen to your point of view.....keep sharing.......

[theeagle]

I am glad that you have stuck around to perhaps arrive at a real life understanding of things...and I do agree with you - as in many things - the truth is somewhere in the middle........stick around - we need other viewpoints occasionally also -

[sab805]

Yes indeed. You all had much luck in convincing me. I know this to be true: I know we as humans are all the same if you peel back the outer layers. We all struggle with our fears, our doubts, our decisions, our choices and most of all our purpose in life. I know that we all stumble in our own way and all dissapoint others while we stumble. I know we all are capable of love, understanding and compassion for others even if it doesn't appear to be the case. I know we all must push ourselves to strive for excellence in ourself and accept nothing less. I know we all share a responsibility to others to nuture all even if it goes against our current feelings.
What do you think? Am I learning?
Oh...by the way...I am female dispite my profile. I was not aware I even had a profile on here.

[LateAugust]

Gosh,  I just had a chance to read your postings,  and you had a 12 year marriage destroyed by drugs   and  now your boyfriend of two years is also abusing.. I am so sorry..  I  hope you check into al-anon if you haven't already,  they truly are a great organization and support system for non addicts.

[Soon2BMrsTurner]

I have reaad all your posts and have to say that im sorry for all you have been through. Addiction is awful no matter what side you are on . But we punish ourselfs so much that when others do it we get angry. Know that we are here to help no matter what side you are on . Im glad that you have stayed here because it will help you to see what he is going through and at the same time might help some of us see how it hurts the ones on the other side

[flmagi]

I read your intial post and have to say that I use to think exactly the same way....I was a drug prude.....until I became a drug addict.
Sometimes fate forces you to see both sides.

[lady67]

I guess I was way too defensive also.  I have just begun to get to a point that my husband says that he trusts me and believes in me (after 6 months off sleeping meds).  I am still a little raw on the situation about hurting others.  I know I did hurt my family and friends, but when we are trying to make up for our deceit and the hurt we caused, it really tears us down to hear something like that.  I think if I had more clean days behind me I wouldn't feel so bad about hearing something like that.

I apologize if I offended by my response.  It was a harsh remark made out of anger.

Susan

[marcatj]

hun, you are welcome to post anytime..

we need to hear how others have been hurt. sadly, I've been on both sides of the fence, here.. having been the addict, then (after being clean) realizing someone close to me was on addict. and living with that erratic behavior..

that said, many of us did NOT get addicted by choice.  for some "run to get high".. it didn't happen like that. and sadly again, for many, if was under doctors orders...

as long as everyone stays positive, and not attacking, this can be a very helpful and insightful forum

we can all learn from each other...

be well,
mj

[sadinmichigan]

I too am glad you stuck around, i guess it's pointless to say you strick a nerve..lol I am here as well if you feel like talking. I have been clean since March 7 and have a husband who is presently an addict but hid it from me for a very long time so i have alot of resentment and trust me..i do know how you feel. We have almost lost everything because of him and my marraige is now over. So you could say i have been on both sides too. He does nothing but lie and i can't afford anymore to give him. I was being as honest on your posts and it wasn't my intentions to offend you. i say it like it is. I am glad you reconsidered sticking around. there are wonderful people here..I know you are hurt and angry as that was pretty evident in your post. I am sorry you have been so hurt. Hang in there..

[sadinmichigan]

just want to add that it is devestating to have a marraige of almost 14 yrs be over. i jave 6 children and it's not easy on anyone. I am still very fresh in the pain of all he has done to me,our family and to himself. It's a no win situation. I also have lost a child to drug addiction. it's painful all the way around. But we are in control of what we do from here however hard that may be..it is for me at least..take care and hope to hear from you.

[cgmomma]

i am glad that you came back to the forum. it shows you really meant everything you said and you are not just doing it for the hell of it.  I came off really harsh as well, but sometimes the truth can hurt and therefore we all get angry.  I am a struggling addict and my husband is having a hard time with it, so I kind of know where you are coming from.  I hate seeing him upset because he feels like he can't do anything to help me.  Keep on posting here and you WILL get lots of help and support.  Everyone in this community cares.  Take care...

[joann1975]

I totally thought I posted on here last night....but I guess i didn't! LOL

I too am glad you stuck around... I sent you a PM...you know if you need me we can chat!

JoAnn