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What about sexual thoughts?

by d_bee, Jul 19, 2008 08:20PM
Sometimes my sexual thoughts are repugnant.  I just want to go out and get some se...  This is totally again everything I believe I believe in celibacy till marriage.  I know that their is something wrong with me.  It's been 21 years since I have been intimate with a man,  I am female  I am middle age.  I have been afraid of having a boyfriend or just a friendship with a male.  My last husban was abusive emotionly and some what physically.  I am also very extremely shy with men especially single men.  My xhusband and I slept together on the first date.  I am afraid that that will happen in a new relationahip.  I just don't know what to say to a man.  For that matter anyone.  I can talk to my therapist easily enough, but feel that she is paid to talk with me.  I can not work because of my OCD and bipolar disorder.  I also have ADD.  So I flunk out of school frequently.  How do I form a friendship with a man and a lasting relationship with a special guy?  I would like to get married, but I haven't had a date in 21 years, I can't even get into bed with one.
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