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Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
Lost
Answered by
Janice M Epp, PhD - Female sexual issues, Adolescent sexuality, Male sexual issues
Private Practice
Palo Alto - CA
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
Lost
by help20, Jul 19, 2008 10:48PM
My 13 year old sister has her first boyfriend. Ever since she met him, she has been acting weird around the house. I'm worried about her sexual activity. She seems to be very worried about something, and asked me to take her to the doctors for a regular blood test. My question is... Do you think she is worried about an STD, or some kind of an infection. If so do you think a regular blood test can detect something wrong. I'm worried about her but i don't know how to approach her. Please answer my questions. Thank you in advance.
Doctor's Answer
by Janice M Epp, PhD, Jul 22, 2008 01:12PM
, Jul 22, 2008 01:12PM
To: help20
Hi.
I’m glad she has a caring sister like you. I’m not sure what you’re looking for here. You can’t figure out what it is she’s worried about unless she tells you. Everything else is just guessing. That’s why communication is so important.
Age 13 is difficult because that’s the time when many girls feel very lonely and low in self-esteem. They often look to boys to validate their attractiveness or importance, and this can be dangerous because most young women that age aren’t yet capable of taking responsibility for either birth control or risk reduction. And don’t even get me started on teenage boys!
You said that you took her for a blood test, and it was negative, so now what? You have several choices. You can ask to speak with her doctor and tell her/him of your concern. You can talk to your sister, tell her you love her and that you want to help and ask her to open up to you. You’ll need to promise confidentiality, so be prepared to hear whatever she says in that spirit. The other option is to ask her to accompany you to the teen clinic at your local Planned Parenthood—or other clinic that offers similar services. You could tell her that you both would benefit from seeing what they have to offer. That might put her at ease. She’s very lucky to have such a concerned older sister. Good luck! Dr. J
I’m glad she has a caring sister like you. I’m not sure what you’re looking for here. You can’t figure out what it is she’s worried about unless she tells you. Everything else is just guessing. That’s why communication is so important.
Age 13 is difficult because that’s the time when many girls feel very lonely and low in self-esteem. They often look to boys to validate their attractiveness or importance, and this can be dangerous because most young women that age aren’t yet capable of taking responsibility for either birth control or risk reduction. And don’t even get me started on teenage boys!
You said that you took her for a blood test, and it was negative, so now what? You have several choices. You can ask to speak with her doctor and tell her/him of your concern. You can talk to your sister, tell her you love her and that you want to help and ask her to open up to you. You’ll need to promise confidentiality, so be prepared to hear whatever she says in that spirit. The other option is to ask her to accompany you to the teen clinic at your local Planned Parenthood—or other clinic that offers similar services. You could tell her that you both would benefit from seeing what they have to offer. That might put her at ease. She’s very lucky to have such a concerned older sister. Good luck! Dr. J
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but also remember not to ask her more than once, if she says 'nothing' when you say whats bothering you, than just make sure you let her know that you wont bother her, but that youre there if she needs anything.