am I going crazy? am i going to die like this and live like this?

[Adelinapleasehelp]

I am 16 yeas old and I have a very serious problem. I was a hypochondriac all my life and was very concerned about my health and I now think I am going crazy. I have always had panic attacks but now something bad has happened to me. It started one day when I woke up sad and started crying out of no reason at all. I felt scared and cried all morning. Then I started having problems with some dizzy fazes that kept appearing all day. I had panic attacks and dizzy problems all day. Soon I started to feel scared to get out of the house. I also started having eating problems and weird moods when I felt hopeless and irrational and scared..It’s like I was another person. It was like a faze.  After having a RMN to the brain I saw I didn’t have a brain tumor and then the thought of me going crazy first popped into my head. Soon it there were 3 weeks since I had started waking up and crying and then during the day the thought that I was going crazy came and just wouldn’t leave me and I got scared and I cried and I couldn’t look myself in the mirror and always thought bout what people thought of me. I was acting irrational and I was scared about that. Soon my fear of leaving the house or entering a shop or mall disappeared and I started. I was happy I could go out with my friends all the time and laugh again…BUT I was still waking up sad and crying and one day I couldn’t laugh any more and I couldn’t feel anymore any emotions, happiness and I couldn’t do anything I liked before. Sometimes I feel like the sadness is so huge in my chest I can’t live anymore and I can’t speak. I have to make efforts to speak and I can’t eat. Nothing makes me smile or laugh and I can’t talk to my friends anymore. I can’t tell jokes and be sarcastic. I can’t love or feel love and I lost my personality I have times during the day that last up to 4 hours when my heart starts beating fast and I feel like I am going crazy or loosing control and then I act irrational and I cry and have a very weird dream like state and I go crying to my parents and tell them that I don’t feel well and I can’t do anythng then not even sleep. Besides the fact that I can’t talk anymore, it seems hard, I noticed my voice is sounding to me (my parents not) the same. It’s like talking from far away….where is the old me? What’ happening to me? Will I ever be the same? I can’t know when I am rational or not since I have so many fazes and moods…which is the real me?  I don’t hear voices or loose touch with reality..but I want me back…It’s like whether I am depressed or paranoid and irrational and scared..but the old me is not there…God, what have I?

[medchick0523]

It doesn't sound like a phase to me dear. Right before this all started happening was there some event (stressor) that may have caused all of this? Regardless, I don't think I need to tell you, but see a psychiatrist. I say psychiatrist, and not psychologist because if there is anything medical going on at the same time, the psychiatrist is better equipped to deal with those issues as well.

Best wishes. *hugs*