A little help on anxiety/depersonalisation please

[adam1982]

Hi, I'm a 26 year old male and I have suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember right back to my years in high school. About a month ago I went to a theme park and experienced my very worst panic attack. I have had many of these before and I am quite familiar with the symptoms and can usually deal with them as they arise. But this time I experienced what I can only explain as depersonalisation/deralisation (this is new to me and I found it especially scary) I could appreciate what I was looking at, I knew who people were but they seemed strange and I felt completely detached to the point of despair, although I managed to hide it well. Since then my mind seems to have become addled, as if there is some kind of imbalance. It has made me especially anxious about getting another bout and to be honest I think I have become a little depressed. I have gone to the doctors and had blood tests to try to find out why I feel so low but they came back fine. Does anyone recognise what I have written here or have an explanation as to why my head feels so unlike me?

[MrGreen]

Comes with the turf, so to speak. I remember nearly getting knocked down, crossing a road in a state of derealalization. Everything seemed further back then they really were. That included the cars. One skidded. That snapped me out of it. Frightened the living daylights out of me. On another occasion I went to the shops with my mum, came home with an xmas tree ( fair swap LOL ), no, but I asked my mum, about 1/2 later when we were going to the shops. I had no recollection of already been. Derealization at it's best. Or worst. Whatever way you want to put it. Normally it would kick in if things were loud and suddenly all went silent. Or the opposite. Not had a bout of it in years now. Just stopped as quickly as it came on. It can be frightening.

[PootlePlum]

I am currently suffering depersonalisation/derealisation (dpd/drd). I was diagnosed last september with anxiety/panic disorder. The dpd/drd was present then, but it wasnt too much of a problem. In the last few months however it's gotten so bad that i really struggle to go far from home if im on my own (i even struggle somewhat when im with my support worker).
Like you, i had numerous blood tests which came back clear.
Im working with a psychologist at the moment, so hoping this will help.
I can relate to what 'MrGreen' is saying about things looking further away than they are. I struggle with crossing roads for this same reason. I too am affected by noise and busy places. If there are no other people around i dont feel so bad (generally, but not always!) but as soon as another person even walks past me i freak out and it becomes really intense.
There is a good website which i use, dedicated to dpd/drd.
www.dpselfhelp.com
Its worth checking out, as there are so many people there who are going through the same thing, and some there who are in recovery. Its good to hear that people can recover from this, cos sometimes it feels like it will never end.
Good luck to you in getting through this.
(ps im a 26 year old female)

[Omusicgame]

I have had feelings like that to the point of despair also.  It's a psychological problem that you aren't aware of yet, but trust me, you're going to see much better days ahead.  See, what it is, is your mind is playing tricks on you.  Either theres something going on, within you, maybe pain, and you need to get it out.  I've always had problems like this in the past.  My problem was I was lustful sex fein, and I did so many things behind closed doors that people wouldve grown in shock from hearing.  I masterbated to girls, guys, anything.  I did drugs and drank alot and huffed, and ....... basically I tried everything.  But I realized after time and time again being scared, anxious, bipolar, whatever they call it, I realized there was pain inside, and I was hiding alot of things.  See Adam, Character is who you are when no one is around.  I mean, whatever Im telling you might not agree with, but this was my problem.  I was someone totally different behind closed doors than I was out in the open.  Maybe just ask yourself the same thing.  Do you have pain inside, and are you the same person when by yourself and with people?  Just wondering.

[gunit410]

"Either theres something going on, within you, maybe pain, and you need to get it out.  I've always had problems like this in the past. "

I can 100% vouch for this view.

Anxiety for me has ALWAYS served as shield for events I hadn't dealt with/sorted out in my subconscious, and in my opinion these events are the source of the anxiety. I have no idea what the clinical opinion on this (it sounds very reminiscent of Freudian psychoanalysis) but I am almost entirely sure that this is the case, and that the interplay is unavoidable.

It sounds however, like you should see a therapist to deal with your problem. They might be able to help you understand what issues are causing you anxiety/dpd.