advice

[pegasus747]

Dear Doctor,

About two years ago I had unprotected sex with someone when I had genital warts. I failed to notify her I had it even though I knew. I was a different person then. I am a changed man and have been trying to make amends for past bad behavior while living a good and responsible life today. I am wondering if it is warranted or a good idea to try and contact this woman and tell her. I still obviously feel guilty about it – I was a scumbag, period. I don’t have any easy or obvious way to do get in touch with her but if it is the best and most right thing to do I will find a way. What do you think is best? Is she in any danger?

Thank you kindly.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

What is done is done.  After two years, there is little to be gained by your notifying her other than to generate bad feelings.  If she had had other partners prior to you, statistically she was likely to already have HPV.  If she had it, from you or others, she was also quite likely to have cleared the infection by herself.  She should be having regular Pap smears and they are the right test to detect whether she gets the rare complication of HPV, an abnormal Pap or even cervical cancer.  I personally would not think there is much to be gained in terms of her health by notifying her at this time.  You however must do what you feel is right.  Hope this helps.  EWH

[pegasus747]

Thank you doctor for your reply.

I do want to do what is the right thing. I figure if she were going to have warts she would know by now and have them treated so there really is no useful point to my contacting her to notify her to this end at this point. I am aware HPV can lead to cervical cancer though. I know women need to get pap smears for this reason. I agree there is definitely potential to do more harm than good by notifying her at this time - in light of this am I understanding you correctly in saying that contacting her to tell her to make sure to get regular pap smears because I had HPV when we slept together 2 years ago is not really warranted and may just worry/upset her more than anything else?

Thank you again.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Yes, that is my assessment.  We've all done things in the past that we wish we hadn't but there comes a point when to raise them again is almost certain not to help others who are involved and probably wouldn't help us either. EWH