56 yr. old father copd and i live 13 hrs. away!!

[natrich27]

hi i  wanted to ask you a few questions if thats okay. my dad who is 56 has copd ( emphasymia,asbestosis as well)  he lives in mississippi and i live in kentucky 13 hours away. i do my best to go down as much as possible. it is hard to know how he is really doing over the phone. he always says he is okay just tired, and feels a little short of breath, mean while he is coughing constantly when im talking to him. he says he fixes his diner but by the time he sats down to eat , he doesnt want it anymore. he still continues to work driving a bull dozer in 100 degree weather.i just got a call from my aunt saying that he had phnemonia agian, but he is still home. he gets pretty offten at least a couple of times a year. i guess my question would be .... i dont really know when to go down and when not to. i cant afford the gas to drive down as much as i would like, but i am so afraid something will happen to him and wasnt there for him. please help any advice would be great. thanks. oh he was diagnoised at least 8 years ago if not longer.

[National Jewish Health]

The best person to put your father's condition in perspective would be his primary care physician and, if he has one, his lung specialist.  You should also be able to rely on your aunt or another relative, one not likely to exaggerate or minimize your father's condition.  Whatever his condition, you have to have hope and an optimistic appraisal of a man who can drive a bulldozer in 100 degree weather and realistically expect him to live a lot more years.

Good luck to you and your father.

[lynnkay]

I am 51 and I too have COPD. Being a parent, he most probably tells you he is okay, so as not to worry you. I have three grown children and I do the same thing to them. I know you worry about your father though. You mentioned an aunt, that told you he had pneumonia. Does she live close to your father? Maybe she can keep you updated on his condition. I have had pneumonia with COPD. It is not uncommon. I get ill several or more times a year. Which is also not uncommon. I guess another way to gauge whether a trip to Mississippi is necessary, is if one of these illnesses puts him in the hospital. There are times, when COPD causes illnesses or COPD symptoms can worsen, that cause hospitalizations. Once again, this is not uncommon with COPD. Seems he is up and about. Trying to go about daily living. I am up and about myself. There are just symptoms that go along with COPD.  Shortness of breath, fatigue, coughing, etc. And right now heat and humidity is hard on people with lung problems. I too live in Kentucky. And the heat and humidity right now are causing me problems with breathing, etc. I know that Mississippi is also hot and humid right now. If your father is working outside in the heat, then that will worsen his symptoms. But, having COPD myself, I can tell you, that there are good days and there are bad days. Just keep calling your father, as I am sure you will. I understand him being hours from you has to worry you.

[jerrip]

I am 65 and have had COPD with cronic bronchitis, Empasema, and astma. I have been diagnosed with it for 6 or 8 years.  It has gotten progressivly worse...but that is nothing new for a person who smoked 3 packs a day for 42 years.   I feel that since your father was diagnosed 8 years ago he is the best person to know his strengths and weaknesses.  The question is if HE will do what is necessary to help himself.  I have days that I cough and it sounds like I am a big seal barking and I can hardly walk from the  bedrom to the bathroom.  There are other days that I can go grocery shopping and even WALK with a cart. I agree with the other person unless he is hospitalized I wouldn't go down....and remember he may only need a day or two to adjust meds or something.  See if he will put you on his doctors and hospitals list to release his condition to you.     Jerri