desperate for help

[mom2twogals]

My family is in search of any answers on our situation. My aunt, whom is 55 was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer. For the last two years she has been in and out of the hospital on a monthly basis with misdiagnosis on her symptoms. She is obese so the doctors kept blaming her problems on her weight. We all agreed as we've too been extremely concerned for years over the same issue. It came to a head when last month she had this huge mystery swelling on her abdomen. She had a huge mass and it was causing pressure and making it difficult for her to breathe. Soon after the doctor ran tests and concluded it was ovarian cancer. The problem being she has kept us very much so in the dark on the entire issue this last month. We believed what she told us as we had nothing else to go on. They did not do a hysterectomy on her and we couldn't figure out why they went straight to chemo. All we could think was maybe because she was so heavy set they were afraid to operate. She had IV chemo three or four times now, we're not certain on that either as she has told us all varying stories but I do know for sure she got at least three treatments, one a week over the last month. She told us she was doing great and was shocked at how well she felt. She wouldn't allow us to visit her so we grew concerned. This past week we all had a difficult time reaching her by phone as well. Yesterday we tried calling over and over and finally one of her foster children whom is 17 answered one of her cell phones and told us she could not tell us where she was that she was directly told not to. We promised to not tell if she let us know. We found out my aunt had been at the ER for over eight hours with no update to anyone. We instantly got in the car and drove up to the hospital. We found out she was in the middle of getting admitted so we waited for her to get settled in before we bombarded her. Her long term boyfriend came down the elevator and ran into us at Mercy Hospital in Canton Ohio. He looked upset to see us and nervous. We naturally asked him questions which he dodged the best he could. He told us she was there for extreme pain in her leg. I guess it began on Friday and was to the point it hurt her too bad to walk. He said that is the only reason they admitted her because they couldn't find out what was causing the pain. They gave her pain medication and it still didn't help. We went up to her room and she was ghostly white and could barely speak above a whisper. She asked us to leave shortly there after. She then called early this morning and told us she did not want myself or any other family member up there unless she told us it was okay that she didn't want us to see her like this. We all understand and respect her wishes although we are deeply concerned her cancer is far worse and more widely spread than she is letting on. I've read that the leg pain often comes in the later stages of ovarian cancer and understand that the majority of ovarian cancer isn't detected until it is passed over the early stages. We just don't know how worried we should be. She has a sister that lives out of state that would prefer to see her in as good as health as possible and doesn't know if she should be concerned now with getting home asap. My aunt called my mother tonight and claims they moved her to the infectious disease floor of the hospital and claims she has an infection in her blood stream and that her right arm is now swollen and hard to the touch. I am contacting anyone possible to try to get some answers as it seems she is keeping us in the dark as much as she can and we're concerned. Does any of this information give any clues as to how concerned we should be? We tried contacting her oncologist but of course he can not tell us any case specific information due to the law. Any information, insight or help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

[Cindy809]

I am so sorry that your family is going through this.  It sounds like you love her very much.  My heart goes out to you.  My suggestion would be to send her cards expressing your love and concerns.  She doesn't want anyone around her now.  It may be very hard to understand her reasons for this.  Also, try to talk to her boyfriend and tell him to let her know that you are all there and ready when she needs your help.  If she is too sick to read the cards ask her boyfriend to read them to her.  Try and surround her hospitial room with things that remind her of your love.  Have the children draw pictures.  This will let her know that you love her.  Hope this helps....

[jlock]

Hello,
  Sorry that your Aunt is not well.  Recieving chemo before the surgery is the newest way they are treating.  It will shrink or get rid of alot of the cancer making her debulking surgery easier.  Usually they do 3 treatments and then surgery,then followed by 3 more chemos,sometimes it is done differently.  As far as her problem now I haven't a clue of whats happenning. Depending on which chemo she is on..many chemo kill the good cells as well as the bad,like your white,red,and platelets.  Maybe there is where the problem is.Sometimes the nurses assigned to her floor will give out info,especially if your family.  Good luck....I know how worried and scared you all are right now...(((hugz)))~~~Joanne

[lucymullis]

I suggest that the person in your family closest to her write her a letter letting her know that you desire to be with her and love her.  This is a life threatening illness so she is most likely in shock and scared.  You must respect her wishes but don't let that deter you from keeping close contact with cards, etc.