What do you do after medical mistakes shake your faith?

[Emma00]

After noticing an enlarging lump in her neck, my mother went to see a doctor.  After the FNA, she was diagnosed with mucoepidermoid carcinoma of the parotid gland.  (Quite unfortunately, this diagnosis was made while being UNINSURED.)  A well-known/respected head and neck surgeon offered to perform a neck dissection (she was a candidate for Clinical Trial Studies) followed by chemo/radiation.  He had told us the way the surgery would go, would be: 1. remove the tumor; 2. interoperatively take a frozen section to the lab for analysis (to determine if this was indeed the primary tumor) 3. continue on with the neck dissection and remove any adjacent lymph nodes if the tumor was the primary.   Apparently he had seen enough MEC in parotid glands, that he felt justified doing a radical neck dissection removing many lymph nodes and her sternocleidomastoid muscle.... He entirely bypassed step 2. After the surgery.... (and it's not called a "radical" neck dissection for nothing!) he came in the room boasting how the operation was a success, and listing all the parts of her neck he had removed.  I think it was the next day that he told us that unfortunately, he had not removed the primary tumor.  In fact, he had no idea where it was.  And good luck.  
My mother choose to pay out of pocket to travel out of state to see another ENT.  In one office visit they found her primary with an endoscope.  It was in her throat at the base of her tongue, and the parotid involvement was actually a metastisis. I can't even tell you how many endoscopes that the ENTs here had done.  It literally had been right under there noses and they missed it.  
So now here we are, about  2 years later.  My mother has had no radiation--no chemo--- no further surgeries.  Clinical Trial Studies doesn't want  to deal with her.  Her surgeon here is afraid to touch her. And worse yet, she has lost all hope; and her trust in doctors is nearly gone.  
My question is this:  After mistakes like this have been made, and both the patient and the doctors don't want much to do with each other.... What can I (her daughter) do to perhaps give her hope... And perhaps make her better??? Are there other clinical trials out there she may qualify for???   (Keep in mind she is uninsured, and uninsurable) And she's sooo young.  (She's only 46!!)

[Mukenhimer]

I've learned there are good and bad waiters, dry cleaners, postal workers, babysitters, and, unfortunately, the medical profession is no different. It's terrifying to realize the human error that can play a part in medical care when we're all basically raised to put blind faith in these people in white coats!  I guess my first step would've been a medical malpractice suit against the original doctor who a) didn't do what he was supposed to do and then b) lied about it and c) was unable to fix it!!!

The internet is your best ally.  Try looking for support groups for your mother's specific type of cancer.  This may lead you into those clinical trials or doctor's willing to help for nothing!  Best of luck to both of you!