Will my husband relapse??

[angel070780]

I started dating my husband 6 and a half years ago, i already had a son to a previous relationship, he was an ex herion addict, but it was all in the past. We got married 3 years ago, and i had our baby last year, he had a very stressful job, where he had to do a lot of studying, he was constantly out studying in the car and i was left with the kids on my own with no help!! i was totally stressed out, i knew things weren't adding up, he couldn't account for a lot of money, letters kept coming in from company's saying we were in arrears, he was suppost to be paying them direct debit. My husband became very withdrawn and defensive every time i questioned him. It was mental torture. Eventually he told me he had been back on herion for 7 months and that he was just about to start a methadone programme which he is currently on. He has ended up losing his job because he failed the final exam 3 times. I feel so stressed and i am scared he will do it again. Throughout all this i have not had one person that i can talk about this as people will judge him and worry about me and the kids. Can anyone please give some advice???

[dominosarah]

Good Morning.  I am sorry for what you are going thru and you have come to the right place for support.  We wont judge him here as he needs support also.  The worrying may be another thing!!!!!  Alot of us are mothers and grandmothers ourselves.  I dont have any experience with Methadone but some others will and will post here.  Please stay here as they will give you some good advice.  Family support is very important with addiction.  Im glad you posted.               sara

[SunnyOne802]

Hi!

His relapse (if he does) will depend on the type of aftercare he receives. Are they offering him counseling at the clinic? He will need to get help to deal with the reasons why he went back to heroin and he will need to get the tools to learn how not to go back again. I do not believe any addict can get clean and stay clean alone. We need each other for strength and hope. I can suggest that he also go to meetings and meet like-minded people who will understand him. Good luck to you and keep posting. People here will help you get through this.

[angel070780]

Thank you both very much for your support. Yes he was getting counseling everyday for the first few months, now he see's him once a fortnight. He assures me it won't happen again and i'm sure he has great intensions, but i am paranoid now that when he's going out he's not going where he says he's going. This causes a lot of arguments, but the biggest is we are completly broke, we are still paying the backlog of bills, plus he is not working. He is trying his best to get a job, but it is very difficult. This all has a huge strain on our relationship.

[dominosarah]

Your feelings are normal with wondering what he is doing.  I hope he will find a job soon as financial problems are very stressful.  Keep posting here as you also need support.  Have you shown him this site??  It really is a great place.  Stay in touch.    sara

[angel070780]

Thankyou Sara, i will show him this site and i will also keep you posted.

[HenryS354]

You are both in my thoughts as I know how hard this can be.

The unfortunate reality Angel is your husband is very prone to relapse.... All us addicts are.  I am sure he loves you very much and would not intentionally go against his word to you, but us addicts are tricky bastards! lol

We dont want to hurt the ones who care about us, but that nagging addiction bug in our brains just wont let go.  I was a second year medical student with a full scholarship to an excellent university and that wasnt enough to harness my cravings.....

I would reccomend suboxone, however as money is an issue, suboxone is VERY expensive.  It is anywhere from $300-800 for the first doc visit and induction, and $150 for a doc visit each month plus the cost of the medication which without insurance can be up to $6 per 8mg pill with most people starting at 16-24mgs per day.

I wouldnt usually reccomend this route but for his case methadone may be an option.  It has some nasty side effects and is a pain in the a** going to the clinic every day, but he needs to educate himself on his options and decide if those side effects are more beneficial than the life he is living now.

Kudos to you for being so supportive.  I can not imagine what it is like to watch him go through this and you have to clean up the mess, as I was on his side.  However I was in a relationahip for 9 years during my active addiction, and my partner put up with an insane amount of my BS until he couldnt take it anymore.....

Best of luck to you both, and hang in there and keep us posted.

Henry