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Maternal & Child Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to breast feeding, childhood disease, colic, child discipline, immunization, lactation, newborn care, post partum depression, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), and special needs children.
meal battles...
by kennedydp5, Jul 25, 2008 12:53PM
the ONLY meal that my kids will eat w/ no argument is their breakfast! after that its all downhill from there. they will only eat things that they "think" they like and will not try new things. but like all of us, you can only eat so much of certain things before you get sick of it and i'm sure that's what's happening. when i give them something new to try, they flat out won't eat it. (and its not like its anything off the wall!) but i can't let them not eat so i give in and give them something else. they are so used to eating "snacks" all the time b/c of all the time they spend w/ my MIL (even in our own home). even after they've finished a meal she finds something else to give them. my girls have actually woke up in the morning and said "can i have a snack?"! they always find something wrong w/ their food or try and find a reason to get out of their chair. what have i done wrong here? can someone give me some advice on how to make meal time easier? my 15 month old doesn't always end up on the same schedule as my older 2 do b/c she takes 2 naps every day... and then sometimes its really hard for me to get things in order at all b/c i breastfeed (he's 6 weeks today) so if i'm doing that, then i can't be in the kitchen or if i've made their food and he wakes up i can't tend to them well enough while holding my newborn and its just really chaotic! help?!?!
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When he was about 14 months old, he refused to eat anything but oatmeal, crackers, applesauce, and granola bars. He wanted nothing to do with meats, fruits or veggies. One night, I got fed up with him throwing a fit because he didn't want to eat what I made him for dinner, which I think was roasted chicken tidbits and corn. He was hungry but refused to eat. So I ended his dinner, stored the food, gave him nothing else for the rest of the night, and sent his food with him to daycare the next day for lunch. I told the daycare workers not to offer him any snacks whatsoever after lunch if he didn't eat it, and if he got hungry again, to just offer his lunch again. I was really grateful they respected my wishes.
For two days, my son ate nothing but breakfast. Seriously. For two days, that was the only meal he ate. It was a harsh battle of wills, I'll tell you that! I stuggled with extreme guilt, but refused to give in, even through two straight days of tantrums and crankiness.
Then he got hungry enough to eat his lunches and dinner when it was offered to him (which by the second day, I'd made something different for him) and he had no complaints or hesitation whatsoever.
It was hard to get through, but I don't regret it. Now he pretty much eats anything, and if he doesn't like it, he knows all I ask is that he takes a few bites before I offer a healthy alternative. Or sometimes, I don't even offer an alternative, and he KNOWS that if he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat unless he wants to eat what he's got, and he does NOT complain about it. He knows his only food option is to eat what he declined to eat the first time, and I keep it readily available for a day.
another idea.. have you read love and logic? great child rearing book! it is all about giving choices... letting kids chose and learn how to choose while the kids are young and the price of bad decisions is low...
give them a choice you can either sit up here and eat your dinner or not eat the choice is yours... you have to be really cool and not let it upset you just matter of fact. If they choose not to eat their plate goes away and they can try again at the next meal.. NO SNACKS>. that is the natural consequence of their decision not to eat the meal... (missing one meal wont starve them) at the next meal you say do you can either sit up here and eat or not you choose... let them choose and then LIVE with the consequence... once they learn that decisions have natural consequences (if I don't eat I will be hungry) they will learn to make better choices... it is really good for them on all levels... for example.. you can either put on your coat or be cold outside.. let them feel the consequences of their decisions.. that way they learn to think beyond the moment and when they are older they think.. what will happen if I take that drink my friend is offering or have sex or whatever...
anyway... the main thing is not to make it a battle.. because if you do that the kids will win... just try to fake it for a while and not show any emotion over whether they eat or not..