10YR OLDS CHANGE IN BEHAVIOUR

[losingit33510]

I AM IN SERIOUS NEED OF HELP. I AM A SINGLE MOM AND RECENTLY WE MOVED AND CHANGED HIS SCHOOL TO A PUBLIC INNER CITY SCHOOL ENVIORNMENT. MY SON IS 10 AND HIS BEHAVIOUR AND SCHOOL WORK HAS DECLINED GREATLY. THE BEHAVIOUR CHANGE HAS DISRUPTED HIS SCHOOL WORK, HE REFUSES TO PARTICIPATE IN CLASS OR GYM, HE SITS FOR HOURS AT THE TABLE DOING HOMEWORK OR HIDES OR LIES ABOUT HAVING ANY, HE HAS EVEN STARTED TO FIGHT. HE HAS DECIDED THAT HE IS NOT GOING TO BE ON PUNISHMENT AND TRIES TO SNEAK HIS WAY TO DO SOMETHING I TOLD HIM HE COULDNT LIKE PLAYING HIS PSP. HE WOULD TRY TO SNEAK IT OUT THE HOUSE UNTIL I CATCH HIM. MY MORNING IS SPENT TRYING TO STAY A STEP AHEAD. ALTHOUGH I AM A WORKING MOM, I HAVE THE USUAL 9-5 SHIFT AND ONCE IM HOME I SPEND CONSIDERABLE TIME WITH HIM. WE DO MOVIES, MUSUEUM, ETC BUT NOW I AM TOTALLY FRUSTRATED AND CANNOT ADJUST TO THIS NEW BEHAVIOUR. PREVIOUS TO THIS, HE WAS THE BEST KID. NO PROBLEMS, VERY ENJOYABLE AND NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR. I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOUR AND FEEL THAT I HAVE TALKED MYSELF BLUE.  I HAVE PURCHASE HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF LEARNING MATERIAL BECUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS FALLING BEHIND AND THAT WAS THE CAUSE OF THE CHANGE. IM AT MY END AND NEED HELP.PLEASE HELP ME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP HIM.

[RockRose]

Yikes.  He sounds completely miserable,  and your description of his school doesn't sound inviting at all.

Can you move back,  or find a school with an environment that is more like the school he was so comfortable in?    He sounds like he is completely floundering.

[jac32]

Was he happy with the move? Sounds to me like he's possibly rebelling against your decision and perhaps trying to punish you fot it (and others around him, including himself). Could however, just be his age. My son has just turned twelve and like your son, started displaying some bad behaviour at around age 10. I think they go through quite a transisiotn ata round that time in their lives, they are getting a bit bigger and seem to have more opinions about life that they're not sure how to express. All you can do is stay supportive (easier said than done i know, believe me) in the meantime, communicate well and see if there aren't any underlying problems at school you may be unaware of.
Good Luck :-)

[mrslady]

I agree, it sounds like he is unhappy about the move. Most kids at his age don't adjust well to moving. Perhaps he has a best friend back at home? You could try calling parents of old friends and asking if they would send a video message back for him? Who knows, maybe that will also give him reason to believe you really do care about him and his "lost" friends back home. I moved quite a lot when I was a kid and I reacted different but the feelings were the same. "My parents don't care that I had friends".

[disciplinedoctor]

I think the best way to nip it in the bud is to put him in a private school where you now live. I feal if your 10 yo was in a private unstructured school,he will behave better.signed behaviordoctor30605