6-yr old boy refusing to have bowel movement

Question

I am at a total loss. My six-year old son REFUSES to have a bowel movement. This has been going on for almost a year, but has progressively gotten worse. We've been to the doctor, gotten enemas, taken laxatives, etc. to no avail. His pediatrician said it's not because he CAN'T, he just WON'T. She referred us to a psychologist, but that was pointless. He didn't talk to my son at all, he just told us that we needed to force him to sit there until he does something. We've tried this, we've tried bribery - nothing works. He used to give in after a couple of weeks (or a couple of laxatives), but he's even holding that in until it starts coming out on it's on. We have had to throw away a ton of underwear! It really seems to be a control issue with him, plus the fear of pain. He has had some painful, hard stool in the past, but lately that does not appear to be the problem - not considering what's coming out on it's own. Any suggestions or advice would be most appreciated! His dad and I are clueless and really getting worried that he'll have some major internal problem from this. Help!

This discussion is related to bowel problems.

refreshedbloom · Answer

wondering if anyone knows what happened with worriedmomofjaxs son. my grandson is doing the exact same thing and we are worried. he is missing school because of it and losing weight

Wilby7723 · Answer

Sorry for the spelling and grammar. It's late and I'm between a 2 year old and a 6 year old ATM sleeping

Wilby7723 · Answer

My 6 year old is the same way, after a week without going and he's rolling around on the ground in pain because its just that hard to hold it in and to big to come out easy its a little hard to not make it a issue. If we don't constantly try to get him to go, fill his cups with oils, fiber and laxitivesand just "leave it alone" like the einstines above suggested it turns into a trip to the ER 8 days later having it removed. We don't demand he goes, we don't force him to go, we simply have to keep it a top priority. I don't have a solution for you and am disappointed in all answers I've read in almost all forums. From outsiders I can see how they think there right but living with this issue and seeing what happens when we leave it up to him, I u d'état and your pain because I share in it everyday. Good luck :/

SeriousSam · Answer

Since you said that it is not that he can't but rather that he won't...  Try arranging some type of structured events where he has the illusion of being the person in charge.  Artwork or crafts within some limits are great for this.

Atleast I was taught the bowell movement aspect in kids was to try gaining control of their environment.  Is their any reason that he would feel that way?

margypops · Answer

Hey babygirl you always have some good insight

babygirl6152 · Answer

and BTW

if and when his pants are soiled it is not unreasonable to have him learn to clean them in the sink - then clean the sink well- IF this is an emotional issue- you will still give it ZERO attention- just say- unemotionally "clean up, dear."
then have him learn to launder them in the washer and dryer- simply put a star sticker on the setting on washer and dryer and teach him to add soap and press start button- he should need a lesson or two-  you will be surprising him by throwing him this new tactic of "not minding wither way"- it is his body- you have done your best to train him and you do still care- you see?

sort of similar to the child that says he is going to run away and you help him pack his suitcase and tell him you will miss him very much "but be sure to write"

try it for 3 months- saying nothing more at all about the issue than that he should clean up when he soils himself. He is choosing this way of life- he may as well learn how to deal with it- if he insists on it being this way- you are just giving him the natural consequences- cleaning up!

babygirl6152 · Answer

I thought juice was the answer too- we also were told to keep Fletcher's on hand- although plenty of water for our son was better than apple juice. 

But at age 6? It does sound like if he can control it- I would back off totally-

he refuses- you say- sound like an emotional issue- and if you have become obsessed with watching for him to have one- he is becoming  more and more sure to hold back-
I can't imagine why he would be so obsessed to hold back- strong willed? but I am with margypops- what happens if you'd NOT make it an issue- it WILL happen-

danielsmom4 · Answer

My son too had this issue.It's called Encopreisis. Make sure he gets plenty of apple juice,grapes,fiber in his food so the stool stays soft. One thing that finally helped my son was nighttime snack.He did not get his snack until he sat on the toilet for a few minutes,maybe 3ish minutes. Then regardless if he could go he had his snack and was told I was proud he sat. Pressure to perform,,,OFF.
One of his doctors told us that people's bodies need training or we'd go like rabbits everytime we ate. He said 20min after we eat our body will try expell excess so sit for a few min 20min after dinner and the body will begin to get used to this.
That finally did work but now and then I still remind him to to the bathroom,he's 9yrs now.
If it's been a few days there is a product called "Fletchers Castoria for Children" in the same aisle you find laxatives at Walmart. Inexpensive and works fairly quickly.Refridgerate for better taste.
Keep the pressure off and just talk with him you want to keep him healthy. Google encoprisis and find out more

margypops · Answer

What happens to him if you simply let him alone with his own bowel movements?He is 6 year old could you just let him fix it himself, what happens when you stop to fuss about it?