Is my five-year old step son controlling?

[Murray661]

Why does my my five year old step-son always cry, wine, argue or get angry when he does not get his way?

He has a very good father. He spends all of his free time with him. I am the step mother and my husband and I and my step son and I seem to be having constant problems as a result of my husband not discipling him ever. My husband thinks I can't handle him, that there is something wrong with me.

My husband is talking about divorce because of this. I tell him it's his son and the fact that he does not get discipline from him.  Also, he needs my husband's constant attention and gets upset when he doesn't always get his way.


This discussion is related to 5 year old boy.

[Sandman2]

  Start a separate post so that other members can see and respond to your problem.
And ya, the kid is running the house because your husband doesn't want to "rock the boat."  Its very tough coming into a family.  I kind of wonder if his ex didn't handle all the discipline before you.  If true, he has no clue what to do.  
  Anyway, its really important for all of you to be on the same page discipline wise.  Otherwise, it just won't work.  That's why I think its really important to start a new post.  The information that you need from other posters is how to work with your husband.  The methods of dealing with a 5 year old are pretty standard.

[christy7403]

I have 2 step sons, 5 and 9. I have no problem coping with the 9 year old. He is very well behaved and listens to me. The 5 year old on the other hand is alot like yours. He has to have his fathers attention 24-7. He wants to shower with him, sleep with him, cuddle on the couch with him, etc. When he does these things, he turns back and gives me this evil look like "see, he belongs to me so leave".
My husband does not discipline him at all. He gives him everything he wants. I have put him in time outs, talked to him, everything but he just stares at me when I do and runs to his dad who says im a bully. This kid is running my house. Its driving me nuts. The older son sits back and watches this all the time and wonders why he isnt getting the love and attention from his dad that his little brother is. It hurts me to see the older one hurt. He doesnt talk about it, but I can see it in his eyes.
I love my husband very much but this 5 year old is the cause of alot of our fights and he just doesnt see it.
This kid is going into kindergarten this year and he still poops in his pants daily in which my husband has just said, thats what toddlers do. Yeah, thats what they do when there 2-3 years old, not 5 going into school. Im at wits end and dont know what else to do.

[khaye]

My answer to your 1st question is. Obviously your step son is a spoiled manipulative kid.

Your husband is not a good father is he can't even discipline his own son. You and your husband should have a heart to heart talk about the situation. That his son needs to be disciplined especially by him. And if ever there is a circumstances that you need to do it yourself, he should back you up and let his son knows there is no difference who ever disciplines him, he has to ober both of you. About the divorce case, ask your husband, is that the only basis or reason why he married you? to take care of his son? you two should be partners, if the kid don't listen to you he should initiate the disciplining since its his son and will listen to him. But if he still insists to divorce you because of his controlling son, don't waste your life taking care of the 2 boys in the house. Remember, you are a wife and a mother not a psychologist.