Aniexty and seizures

[Heather81004]

Hi, Thank you for this site.  I will be 36 next week and in 1998 I was diagnosed and have been treated on and off since then for many different anxiety issues and depression.  Good years bad years, anyway, on Oct 5 of this year I woke with a very bad headache, which I am not acustom to I do not get headaches nor migranes, as the day went on, it became progressively worse. Which landed me in the emergency room.  Within days I was having approximately 10 - 30 seizures a day, I have been in the hospital more than I have been home including christmas week.  I have been through 2 regular eegs, sleep deprived eeg, spinal taps, mri, ct scans, my arms look like I am a serious drug user.... Anyway, I need to know can severe anxiety cause seizures??? They have told me that I have had many diagnoses on the different types of seizures that I have, but no one can tell me what is wrong, I feel like a rat already try this try that I am tired of trying all this I just want to end all this I just want to die already.      I have been on dilantain, midrin, high blood pressure medication, kappra, and adavan.  My normal medication was Klonopin and an anti depressant.  Well after having 23 seizures in one day, they immediately scheduled me with a sleep deprived eeg.  Since I got home and thoughts of suicide ran vividly through my mind because of the emotional, mental, physical stress I didn't want to live through this any longer.  I took myself off all my medications (I know not reccommended) and kept myself on my old medication.  The seizures seem to disappear. Until today. They are back, HELP what should I do, not my therapyst, not my nuerologist, no none can give my answers.  Can you advise  me in the right direction please.

[Heather81004]

Wow that was a lot of information, are you in the medical field or just very knowledgeable.  With your permission may I please print out our discussions and bring it to my neurologist and my therapist?  You have given me more insite in a few days than in years...... thanks

[Heather81004]

Hi,
Yes, I have had pts for years.  If you could ask me more specific questions it will be easier for me to answer.  

I have been raped several times, went through 2 very abusive marriages.  One of my ex husbands killed my child by hitting me in the tummy when I was 5 months pregnant.  I watched my aunt die in a car accident,. I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress since 98 as well. I have panic attacks, major depression, anxiety. At the beginning of the year last year i was in a very bad skiing accident which left me out of work for 6 months.  When I was young my mom (which I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth) I was severally addited to several types of major narcotics.  Which upon of the findings of my first daughter who is turning 18, I have not done any narcotics, I have experimented with pot every now and again but not a habit.  

I have supported 2 girls completely by myself for the last 13 years with no contact from thier father ony when its convient to him, which he is still a meth head, so i protected my children from him. Never stop visitation from him seeing them he chose not to and recieve no child support.

My mother has disowed everyone in her family, her mom and dad, her brothers, my father, myself and my brother she has a relationship with. I do not live a fairy tale life though I wish I did,.  I had a friend call my mom after my stroke and the seizures, and she told him that she wants nothing to do with me or my life that she doesn't have time for me or anything about me.  And this was due because I was dating a man whom she adored, but things went terribly wrong after my knee surgery and he stole 10,000 out of my bank account, and borrowed  5,000 from her.  My girls witness him trying to kill me while doped up on medication she shoved mini muffins in my mouth and thank goodness my daughter walked in just in time. But he lied to her about everything that was going on getting money from her left and right and, told her so many different things. The breaking point was on mothers day when my youngest girl of 13, confronted him about a conversation that she over heard and he told her that I should give her away that all of our problems were here fault.  My kids are really good kids, I am not just saying that either, they are very respectful.  At that point I told him to leave my home and that when he started having these conversations with my mom.  My mother at that time, took his side and still remains a relationship with him. I begged her to please stop and please leave him out of it.  to please do not involve my girls in her childish behavior.  She till this day will try to get information from them about me. I asked her several times to please stop via email. But she still continues.

And I try to maintain an executive managment postion at a major corporation.  I am absolutely lost. Because of my medical leave of absence, we didn't even get to celebrate christmas at all, and to top it off it was my birthday yesterday and didn't even get to celebrate it.  

I hope this helps in guiding me to the light, because every day I want to kill myself. But my girls need me and my oldest is graduating this year, I am trying not be selfish, however, I don't want to live like this anymore.

Thanks Ryan,
Hope to hear from you soon,.