benjim's MedHelp Blogs http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/1539385 Medical communities and forums staffed by doctors from leading medical centers. Over 325 forums and communities providing medical information and medical help. en Goodbye Just finishing the note. I love you all. All the best. Bye. benjim Mon, 07 Feb 2011 17:08:03 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/266696/Goodbye http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/266696/Goodbye Out I got discharged today. I have absolutely no idea what to write, say, think or do. benjim Mon, 24 Jan 2011 19:17:04 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/263029/Out http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/263029/Out Hospitalisation I'm being hospitalised. Going to be in the 'austin' at Heidelberg tonight. Going to be transferre benjim Thu, 20 Jan 2011 00:40:42 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261758/Hospitalisation http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261758/Hospitalisation The morning after Stabilised. Very scarred mentally and emotionally. So crushed. Not in danger right at this second. benjim Wed, 19 Jan 2011 18:25:36 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261649/The-morning-after http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261649/The-morning-after Responsible respite I hit deadset rock bottom. Sasha and I called triage. Cooperated and they agreed not to hospitalise m benjim Wed, 19 Jan 2011 10:10:15 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261548/Responsible-respite http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261548/Responsible-respite Can't fail Please, take a breath. Relax. You can't rush this. You can't **** this up. benjim Wed, 19 Jan 2011 06:31:46 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261474/Cant-fail http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261474/Cant-fail better played guitar feel great. benjim Wed, 19 Jan 2011 03:10:55 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261446/better http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261446/better lgnorance is bliss But the truth is addictive. benjim Tue, 18 Jan 2011 20:38:04 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261379/-lgnorance-is-bliss http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261379/-lgnorance-is-bliss They won't go away 5:42am. Aksel is here. Breaking down. Crashing. I will never escape myself. benjim Sun, 16 Jan 2011 12:47:27 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/260700/They-wont-go-away http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/260700/They-wont-go-away Better 3:26pm. Aside from just after I woke up, been much better today. Thinking of things rationally. Si benjim Wed, 12 Jan 2011 08:32:51 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/259555/Better http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/259555/Better Destroyed I feel so shattered. I feel so empty. I felt the same when I went to sleep. It's probably worse now. benjim Mon, 10 Jan 2011 23:25:32 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/259206/Destroyed http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/259206/Destroyed Promises you'll only make 10:58am Been up for a couple hours. Was playing between the bars by elliott smith. Now I'm really dow benjim Sat, 08 Jan 2011 04:02:19 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/258491/Promises-youll-only-make http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/258491/Promises-youll-only-make Crashing down Falling apart right now. benjim Fri, 07 Jan 2011 11:59:01 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/258372/Crashing-down http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/258372/Crashing-down No. How can you honestly expect me to get help? How can I possibly open my mind to officials now? I would benjim Mon, 03 Jan 2011 14:24:26 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/257138/No http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/257138/No Saga continues I was very suprised by my ability to wake up this morning and get to school. I though 5 sleeping pill benjim Mon, 03 Jan 2011 12:50:09 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/257098/Saga-continues http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/257098/Saga-continues Damn I feel rejected, worthless, hopeless, unneeded, unwanted, lonely, nauseated, sedated, embarrassed, wo benjim Sun, 02 Jan 2011 04:37:52 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/256707/Damn http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/256707/Damn There it is 7:30pm. Suicidal again. First real time today though and it didn't happen yesterday. benjim Sat, 01 Jan 2011 12:31:15 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/256540/There-it-is http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/256540/There-it-is I know I'm crazy... But I feel as if its going to work. benjim Sat, 01 Jan 2011 11:11:26 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/256524/I-know-Im-crazy http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/256524/I-know-Im-crazy Wow I have not been seriously suicidal yet today. Its 7:30pm. I am so suprised... benjim Fri, 31 Dec 2010 12:30:36 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/256322/Wow http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/256322/Wow Please stop New night, same routine. Just lay here and try and sleep, being tortured by my mind. **** I give in J benjim Thu, 30 Dec 2010 16:30:27 -0600 http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/256159/Please-stop http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/256159/Please-stop