I'm cycling. It's scary and I wish there were something more to do than to just ride it out. Home in bed. Limiting contact with those who distress me. Forcing myself to eat but then it won't stay down. Anxiety so bad. Sadness but no tears. If it weren't for my need to work, I'd take all week off and try to get myself together. If it weren't for the stigma, I'd check myself into a hospital. But can't do that. So sleepy now. Must get some rest. 7:30 PM -- ah yes, the depression settles over me like the fog.