I went along to the Moorfields glaucoma clinic yesterday. I went through all the rigmarole of tests that i normally go through, then i had to see the the Dr. and she told me something that stunned me into disbelief. She said that i'm losing my sight and need a Trabeculectomy opperation on both my eyes. I asked her what would happen if i did'nt have the op. she said i would surely go blind within months rather than years. And she also said, there is no cure, but the opperation would give me more time before i eventually go blind.
I was told a few years  ago  that i might need an opperation, but it went out of my mind and i thought no more about it.
My next appointment is in March 2011 and i've to let the Dr know if i'm having the op or not. Well, theres only one thing i can say as i want to keep my sight for as long as possible, i must have the opperation...I'm not looking forward to that one bit and i'm also worried about the side effects that could occur during or after the op...I can't believe this is happening.

Today i'm going out with my friend "D". (She was my Aunt "Ds" friend before her passing in January this year) "D" and i were supposed to have gone out for dinner on her 83rd birthday which was 4th July US Independance Day which is one birthday i can't forget...lol. "D" had to go to her sisters as she is in bad health and i was ill myself at the time. "D" rang me last night and we made arrangements for today as we both have our own appointments coming up before christmas. I hav'nt seen "D" since January, but we have kept in contact by phone each week. She is such a sweet little lady and we have always had a laugh together. She was close friends with my Aunt "D" for over 30 years.

I am feeling good at the moment,.There's been no arguments or any upset within the family this week and everything seems to be running smoothly which makes a change and i hope it stays that way.

My over eating has calmed down a bit this week and i'm trying to cut down on a few more things.  I seem to eat the wrong things when i'm under stress or feeling down in myself (comfort eating), but this week has been good and i have too, eating wise that is. If things run smoothly so do i.

Flight or Fight:
I need to let things flow though me like i used to do when i practiced Flight or Fight when hubby was doing this. I was the one who learnt to do this and he did'nt and i found it helped me and nothing seemed to bothered me, be it major or minor incidents and it kept me calm in all situations and i was able to conduct my own life properly. The tims i've tried to teach hubby how to do this, but he don't seem to grasp the technique and its so easy to learn, but it takes time to do this at first and it has to be practiced regularly then it all falls into place.
Fight is when your anxious and stressed ect...Flight i sit calmly in a chair and relax like a rag doll breath in slowly through you nose then purse your lips and slowly breath out and keep doing this. I do this 10 to 20 times and sit and relax
When i take on this Flight or Fight  and  put it into practice I adopt a don't care attitude which works for me and keeps me calm, i know this sounds daft, but it works for me  even though i do care if that makes sence. Some people have thought i was hard or did'nt care towards some situations, but i would rather feel like that than fall apart all the time.

If anyone reads this try it and put it into practice on a daily basis, it woked for me and it will work for you

I remembered why i left this website (nothing wrong with the website i might add) well, i just did'nt bother with the internet untill i bought myself a laptop as my computer kept breaking down on me. Well, i bought 2 laptops. The first one i bought, my grandson used it most of the time and i could'nt get a look in, so i ended up giving it to him and bought the one i'm using now. Then, my hubby who i refer to as "?" as he don't want to be named on the internet wanted this laptop and i refused point blank, mainly because he wanted girlie websites on it and i don't want anything like that on my laptop at all, i don't like that sort of thing. So, he went and bought his own laptop which is the same as mine would you believe.

My daughter has just left for an extra driving lesson before she takes her test at 9.30am.
Last night i rang my daughter to wish her good luck. I thought she would be anxious, but she said she felt calm, she thinks its because shes been working hard all day and had'nt had time to think which is a good thing really. I've got my fingers and toes crossed for her.