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Getting stronger?

Feb 22, 2010 - 0 comments

Today I went to the gym and did the intervals cardio on the treadmill for the first 20 minutes.  Then I did the machines the way the book says to, working each exercise to muscle failure.  My upper body needs work, for sure.  I was shaking like crazy trying to lift the weight, but I made it through.  I thought it would be harder because since I did the bodyweight exercises on Friday, my muscles have been so sore...I suppose that's a good thing because it's supposed to mean that the muscle is rebuilding and I'm getting stronger.  More muscle means more fat burned, so I have to stay focused on that.  All in all the workout went pretty quickly, and I'm glad I don't have to do it again until Wednesday, lol!

I'm a bit concerned that I got so emotional at church yesterday.  The sermon really convicted me about how I've been neglecting my walk with the Lord.  It came down hard on me, as it had been building for quite some time but I could hardly contain myself as I spilled my guts to some lady I have never met before, telling her about the last 4 years of my life and all of the torment I've been through.  It felt good to get it out, but I had previously promised myself I wouldn't do that here in my new home in Texas.  I wanted to leave it all behind me, but I suppose it will follow me for the rest of my life.  I have two choices; I can either let it destroy me slowly or I can let it go and hang onto my faith and let it make me a stronger, better person.  I thought I had let it go, but somehow it keeps creeping up on me whenever I have time to think, which is why I keep choosing to do things that prevent me from thinking, whether it be online games, crafting, watching tv or drinking.  Now that we're settled into our home reality has struck and I'm faced with my life ahead of me.  I counseled with someone at the church office and was basically told what I already know.  Just have faith and stop beating myself up for what I have no control over, and most certainly find ways to strengthen my faith with prayer, devotions, bible reading and getting active in church.  I KNOW all of that, it's just been so hard to do because I always fall back and think about my kids and their futures, and how I'm going to deal with it all as a mother.  But I'm also Allan's wife and I need to be just that for him.  I cannot control the choices my kids make, and I have to let them face the consequences of their own choices, but the mom in me just wants to nurture them.  

Maybe it's all the stress of trying to play the happy game that's been keeping my body unwilling to lose weight.  Smiling and pretending that all is right with the world can be hard when you're screaming inside and no one can hear you.  Why has all of this come back to haunt me now?  I'll be so glad to go on vacation in two weeks with my hubby and enjoy all the fun we will have together, when I can forget again.  

Fat Burning Furnace?

Feb 18, 2010 - 0 comments

I downloaded another Ebook yesterday on the best way to burn fat.  It's very similar to Michael Geary's book, "The Truth About Abs" in that it states simply that the best and fastest way to burn fat is to gain muscle by INTENSE weight training, along with eating whole foods.  According to the new book, "Fat Burning Furnace" and the other, working your muscles to failure is the only way they can heal and increase in strength.  Both books assure that women will not BULK UP and look like those crazy weightlifters that use steroids and special supplements.  They say that even if your weight on the scale INCREASES, the fat will DECREASE because muscle burns way more calories than fat, so once your fat ratio goes down, it will be easier to stay lean.  these books also debunk the whole DIET industry, saying that there is nothing out there that will work to keep you lean, and that most diets cause a loss of water, but without gaining muscle, you're just leaving room for the fat to come back.  It all makes sense, but I'm not sure if our gym has the right equipment to do all of the exercises.  I can do some.  The problem is that I will have to experiment with different weights to see what will be the best exercises and resistance for me.  This will take a couple of weeks.  According to both books, each exercise will be able to be done in only ONE set, so the total workout should only take 20-25 mins three days a week.  I may skip the treadmill and see what I can do today on the machines.  I'm also afraid for my back and don't want to get hurt.  The last time I tried dumbbell exercises, I threw my back out and had to go to the chiropractor.  I will need to be careful, but I really want to give this a try because I don't have many more options.

It's a whole new mindset, and it's going to take some time....I need to make these changes!!!


Just Pressing On..

Feb 16, 2010 - 0 comments

I made it though the weekend!!  Our anniversary/Valentine's Day was wonderful!  

Yesterday was Monday, and I went to the gym in the morning.  I've been trying to track my exercise on this site but I have to choose between walking and weights; I do both at the same time but the tracker doesn't allow for that.  Then I'm left with having to put in walking only, so the calories burned is incorrect.  If I put both, it adds the time and it shows that I'm working out twice as long as I really am...what to do?  I spent a good portion of the afternoon at Hobby Lobby looking for a way to measure the Stevia extract I bought.  The serving size on the container is 1/40th of a teaspoon!  How the heck does one measure THAT??!!   I wound up having to MAKE a sort of measuring spoon out of wooden ice cream sticks and an upside down wooden "knob" with a back indentation.  I tried it this morning and it's perfect!! lol, I had four workers in the store going crazy looking for some sort of miniature spoon!  Anyway, my son Ryan had his friend Cameron over for dinner last night.  He had to drive from Houston so we didn't get to eat dinner until around 7:30.  Nice kid, we had a good time.  Then they went upstairs and Allan and I played a few hands of Rook, then we went into the bedroom to watch some TV.  A great day!

Today I'll go back the the gym and start all over.  I'm trying to get my digestive system back to normal.  I have noticed that for 3 weekends in a row, I wound up having to take Immodium for diarrhea.  It works wonderfully for eliminating pain and stopping the runs, but then I have trouble for the next few days trying to get everything regulated again.  I'm going to keep an eye on this trend to find out what's triggering EVERY single weekend.  I didn't weight in yesterday because of this.  Maybe today...

Eeeek!

Feb 14, 2010 - 0 comments

Okay, although yesterday was a wonderful day and a fun celebration, I didn't do as well foodwise I had hoped.  We  did go to the mall yesterday and wound up buying  new Sketchers toning sneakers for each of us, bedsheets, and a bunch of other stuff.  We went to Jason's Deli for lunch and I made the good choice of the salad bar.  It was just a little tough skipping over all the wonderful sandwiches, soups and stews they offered, but they had a pretty good selection so I filled up on salad with a couple of tablespoons of hummus and some small crusty bread slices.  Not bad.  By the time we got home, it was almost time to get ready for our dinner date to celebrate our first anniversary.

Once we got to Joey's I lost it all.  I ate bread dipped in olive oil, shrimp francese and we shared a cannoli for dessert.  I also drank 2 martinis and we shared a bottle of wine, so I got pretty wasted.  I don't remember coming home but when I woke up to Allan's MASK again at 4:10 am, I had the shakes.  I drank some water and felt better but wasn't able to go back to sleep so I've been awake ever since.  I've had some coffee so I feel better, but we both decided in the wee hours to skip church this morning because we knew we'd be so sleepy.  I wish I had been able to make better choices about how much I drank and ate last night, but I can't dwell on it and let it ruin the flow.  It is, after all, Valentine's Day and our first anniversary and so maybe I should have let go and enjoyed myself, as long and I don't make a habit of it!  My son, Ryan made the most amazing Oreo truffles for Valentine's Day and I know I'm going to get a box of chocolates so I'm going to have to be wise.  Thank God I don't have much of a sweet tooth and am more satisfied with regular food than sweets or I'd be all over that!

I would like to be able to get out and walk today in our new toning sneakers, but the weather predicted is 37 degrees and rain all day, so I'm not sure if we will or not.  Tomorrow I can get back to the gym and back into the exercise flow.  I haven't even attempted to get on the scale because of last night and I wonder if I will even bother at all today.  Perhaps I should just enjoy this great day, my beautiful roses, all the Valentine's goodies and just start over tomorrow?  After all, I keep trying to reason with myself that I'm certainly not OBESE, or even chubby....I just weigh more than I would like to at this point in my life and I would LOVE to lose 20-30 lbs and be more fit.  I'm trying not to obsess over it.  What I REALLY need to do is stop drinking and let my body's metabolism adjust back to normal so would know if I have a thyroid problem, or if it's the alcohol that's causing me to gain steadily and not be able to lose.

Well, off to enjoy my day!