In the mornings and the mid evenings are my worst part of the days. In the morning, getting out of bed is hard and painful then getting balanced to go to the restroom or go upstairs to get breakfast and coffee going is a task in it's self. It's funny after the fact but at the moment rushing to the restroom to make it and running into everything because I don't have my balance, is something from a cartoon. Then in the mid evening I hurt so bad and am no fun to be around. Who wants to be around someone who is a grouch or on the flip side of the coin, who wants to sit and watch their love one in severe pain? I usually call it a night about 7:30 pm and I will watch TV or a movie or even be on the computer, I just have to be laying down.

A week ago I was coming up our stairs, yes my bedroom is downstairs. I was a little bit of balance but was taking it slow. At the twelfth stars and at the top, I lost my balance and fell to the bottom. My son came rushing down the stairs and beat my husband out of bed to my side. I don't recall hitting any stairs on the way down but boy did I hit my head. I saw blood on the floor, and started feeling my head to see where the blood was coming from. Well thank goodness it wasn't from my head but on of my elbows. I laid there for a few minutes, got my bearing, and got to my feet with my families assistance. I was given a towel and placed it on my elbow and then, assisted, made the trip upstairs. I sat on the couch and iced my head on and off for a few hours. Followed, instructions, for head injuries and to my amazement my neck and back were not in a lot of pain. Oh boy, both my elbows and most of all my head did.  For the rest of the day I did take it easy but did do laundry and house chores that I was able to do based on what my pain would allow me to do. I did lay down quite a bit and wanted to take a nap but husband thought it best that I stay awake until I was ready for bed.  Later in the evening I started to feel nauseous and took some under the tongue tablets I had.

The next morning my head hurt so bad, I mean it was worse then any migraine I've ever had and it was very painful to turn my head to left to right. I felt so sick to my stomach, worse then any morning sickness I'd experienced and I have 4 kids. We ended up going to the emergency room and they ended up giving me a shot which of course made me feel better. The doctor was giving me a strength test and asking me to pull my arms against his. He kept telling me to pull harder, finally I told him that I was and explained that since my accident once again the right side is weaker then my left side. Anyway, everything looked ok, they said I had a concussion and to follow up with my primary physician. I did as instructed and then was told that the headaches and nauseous feeling could come and go for weeks, just great! On top of what I already have to deal with and now this...

Well I saw my surgeon yesterday, 2 weeks maybe less, since my fall, went over everything and my doctor referred me to see another doctor but this doctor being a psychologist. I asked my doctor if he thought all of the pain I was experiencing was in my head that I only thought I was feeling this. He said of course not, he explained that he wanted me to be evaluated by a pain psychologist for closed head trauma. My scans of my neck and back have not changed since the car accident. What has changed since the car accident is or could be neurological. Well that was good news for my neck and back. It was recommended to me that we restart neck and lumbar injections once again for pain relief. So we are now awaiting appointments.

Quote of the day:    

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Well it's been 3 years going and the last year in litigation but my 15 year old son is living with us. I am so happy, words can not express how I feel inside. Pain management has been doing ok. Like most I have my good days and my bad days. My butt, for lack of better words, has been hurting a bit more then it has before. Not sure what is going on with that but I try not to sit down and if i'm ridding in my car I sometimes turn on the heated seats. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't.

I am so blessed with a wonderful and compassionate husband. He has taken care of me when I couldn't. I tease him sometimes and ask him if he's going to trade me in for a younger model. He says "NO, he already knows what he has and if he traded me in he might end up with worse then he already has".  Matter of fact he just found out that he has arthritis in his joint in his left shoulder. He did a cortisone lidicane injection that seems to be working.

Quote of the day:  When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.  ~Harriet Beecher Stowe

It's been quite awhile since i've been to this site let alone write in this journal. I've been put on a lot of meds as I said before one being Neurontin or also known as GABAPENTIN. I am taking 600mg three times a day  and at first was very skeptical due to the nature of the med being used to help control seizures. From what the Doctor told me it helps with nerve pain. Well, the Doctor was right, most of the pinched nerve symptoms are relieved. Granted, it is only masking the pain, bit I have to do something until the swelling goes down enough for the Doctors to tell me how bad off I am and what are next step is. I am not a Doctor or even close and all my Doctors including my family Doctor are all on the same page and that is very rare, yes the right hand knows what the left hand is doing and I thank GOD each day for my wonderful medical team.

At this time, I am not free of pain but it's manageable and I can get myself dressed, take a shower, take my children out for lunch and ride in a car for at least 2 hours. I can't sit in a wood chair, plastic chair for no longer then 15 to 20 minutes. I don't have the quality life that I did just after my Eclipse Fusion and until I see Dr. Pettine again I don't know what my future holds. I do know as a fact, that the rear end collision that my son and I were involved in has made by the dics that were bad but not causing pain  herniated and will cause a lot of pain without management. We will see what the next step is at my next appointment with Doctor Pettine.

Quote of the day: Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. – Mark Twain

I'm off visiting my mom. I wont return for a few days.